Mindfully Masculine: Personal Growth and Mental Health for Men

OK, Let's Talk About Penis Size

February 27, 2023 Episode 73
Mindfully Masculine: Personal Growth and Mental Health for Men
OK, Let's Talk About Penis Size
Show Notes Transcript
A topic that many men spend considerable time thinking about, joking about, and worrying about, is the size of their penis. In this episode we'll share some data that says you're probably more "normal" than you think, and it probably doesn't matter as much as you hope--or fear.

This episode contains explicit content (obviously).

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Dan:
ah good morning Charles

Charles:
more dan how are you

Dan:
i'm well i'm well had had a good weekend and a good end of last week at podcast how about you

Charles:
same i really enjoyed podcast got some good information out of there i think i brought home a head cold though from you know

Dan:
m

Charles:
lot of a lot of crowded rooms

Dan:
m

Charles:
with a lot of people sitting close to each other and i think

Dan:
m

Charles:
i brought something back but

Dan:
m

Charles:
so far it feels like just a minor head cold

Dan:
m

Charles:
i don't i'm not too worried that i've got covid or flue or anything like that so not on wood that will be the way it

Dan:
m

Charles:
works out and i'll be free and clear in a in a day or two

Dan:
m excellent excellent

Charles:
yeah stay and staying drugged

Dan:
oh

Charles:
up on all the good over the counter cold medicines and stuff and that seems to be seems to be helping

Dan:
m

Charles:
uh

Dan:
m

Charles:
let's see what else is on my list to talk to you out to day

Dan:
oh

Charles:
did have a things

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
that

Dan:
what

Charles:
go

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
things that

Dan:
was

Charles:
are

Dan:
gonna say

Charles:
going well yeah so

Dan:
what's going

Charles:
the

Dan:
well

Charles:
big

Dan:
for

Charles:
thing

Dan:
you

Charles:
the big thing was yesterday while

Dan:
oh

Charles:
i was dealing with my cold symptoms running nose stuffy head

Dan:
m

Charles:
um it was really a little little bit of scratch in my throat

Dan:
m

Charles:
i still had to walk

Dan:
m

Charles:
ten thousand steps to get to

Dan:
hm

Charles:
continue on

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
in my step bet challenge

Dan:
m

Charles:
and similar to a few months ago when i tweaked my back a little bit

Dan:
m

Charles:
dead lifting you

Dan:
m

Charles:
know i tried to

Dan:
m

Charles:
you lay in bed and

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
take it easy for about a week

Dan:
yah

Charles:
and i hope that it would get better and then finally i just got frustrated i said

Dan:
h

Charles:
that's it i'm going to start using my body as if i wasn't

Dan:
h

Charles:
injured

Dan:
oh

Charles:
see what happens

Dan:
oh

Charles:
and

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
i felt so much better after i did that and then yesterday the

Dan:
uh

Charles:
same thing i was like oh you

Dan:
oh

Charles:
know you know this cold fast i should probably just lay in bed and take some night quill and piss the day away and it of that i decided now i'm

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
going to go out and i'm going to take a walk as if

Dan:
m

Charles:
i was fine and was glad

Dan:
m

Charles:
i did because i definitely felt better

Dan:
m

Charles:
for taking that action

Dan:
m m

Charles:
and now i'm not i'm not saying this really translates to

Dan:
m

Charles:
much of anything else you know if you've got stage four pancreatic cancer don't

Dan:
m

Charles:
don't just say i'll just

Dan:
m

Charles:
walk it off but for a tweaked a minor tweaked back or ahead cold

Dan:
oh

Charles:
yeah just don't give into that the other thing that worked out well for me in the same space was you know

Dan:
oh

Charles:
a minor inconvenience of a cold is

Dan:
m

Charles:
usually enough to kick me off of good eating habits

Dan:
m

Charles:
because then

Dan:
m

Charles:
feels better than some real sugary ginger

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
ale and you know some crackers and some loaf of

Dan:
m

Charles:
loaf of bread from the bakery and stuff

Dan:
m

Charles:
like that but i decided now this time i'm not going to do that i'm goin

Dan:
m

Charles:
i'm goin to keep eating right

Dan:
m

Charles:
even though i don't feel great

Dan:
m

Charles:
and so far so good i've

Dan:
m

Charles:
just been sticking to mostly vedgies

Dan:
m

Charles:
and meat but i have indulged

Dan:
m

Charles:
a little bit more in fruit

Dan:
m

Charles:
like for whatever reason just some some

Dan:
m

Charles:
blueberries or some strawberries

Dan:
m m

Charles:
just take away that kind of gross feeling you're have in your mouth

Dan:
m

Charles:
from when you're sick and you're having to blow your nose

Dan:
oh

Charles:
and cough all the time and so

Dan:
oh

Charles:
i've gone a little heavy on the berries but boy

Dan:
m

Charles:
could could go much worse than berries when you're when you're trying to do no sugar no an

Dan:
congratulations man that's that's that's not easy to do i

Charles:
thanks

Dan:
thought it

Charles:
now

Dan:
was interesting

Charles:
that i now that i told you and all the listeners and i have to i have to stick with it for at least another

Dan:
oh

Charles:
day

Dan:
what really concerned

Charles:
oh

Dan:
me was was not the crackers or the ginger ale but you said you buy a loaf of bread

Charles:
oh yeah

Dan:
to feel better when you're sick

Charles:
yes absolutely yeah if i if i have

Dan:
wow

Charles:
a cold for

Dan:
okay

Charles:
four or five days i will just go through one to two loaves of not like wonder bread like some good bread from like the ulick bakery

Dan:
oh

Charles:
like mountain bread or sour dope or something like that and they just bread and butter is all is all i'll eat

Dan:
m

Charles:
for a few days while i'm feeling sick

Dan:
m right

Charles:
recommend against that

Dan:
i'm gonna m gonna i'm going t give you some advice you didn't ask for which

Charles:
please

Dan:
is that's going to keep your cold going a lot longer than it normally

Charles:
ah

Dan:
would because

Charles:
interesting

Dan:
of yeah listen man i know we talked about it briefly to and i don't want to get on the soap box about you know we talked about glut and then everybody you know i have

Charles:
sure

Dan:
a glut sensitive sensitivity or i'm gluten sensitive yeah

Charles:
eh

Dan:
most people

Charles:
ye

Dan:
are it's like it's because it just it damages the lining of our gut that type of the gluten protein so

Charles:
m

Dan:
whether you see and feel an actual sensitive or you don't that's not something our bodies are meant to be eating it causes damage and then we eat other food that then gets into a blood system because because basically the gluten has then separate has destroyed the cell the barrier of our intestinal lining and so stuff that gets into that that shouldn't be in our blood stream gets into our blood stream and so even foods that really don't normally you think of as eugenic they actually do cause alergies you know you can get congested little things or you could

Charles:
oh yeah

Dan:
actually get you know or you could could get

Charles:
oh

Dan:
that bad as where you've got incredible cramps uh you know cal act de ease things like that so you know do your body favor avoid avoid gluten at all costs

Charles:
m

Dan:
if you can and much better choices with the blueberries so that's that's since i've done that since

Charles:
ah

Dan:
i've been conscious of that i mean

Charles:
uh

Dan:
i used to get and i speak from experience i used to get really bad really bad ball movements from just almonds and brocoli and you know chicken breast things like fairly

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
healthy things that you really don't

Charles:
right

Dan:
associate with with alergies i took an alergy test all these things came up for me including officatos and i just thought that was very strange nobody in my family had any of these issues i was just ittle bit more conscious of my gluten i healed my gut with some glue

Charles:
okay

Dan:
to men and some some basic powders i stayed away from the foods that were causing causing me to for a few months and afterwards i'm good now i really i don't have a problem and every once in a while i can have you know a slice of bread where we have a little glutton here and there it doesn't bother me it just when when we're all eating it's put into everything wheat you know

Charles:
right

Dan:
put on don't realize potato chips you didn't think well why would they put wet on potato

Charles:
she

Dan:
well part of part of the coding is actually kind of addictive and so you know the old ladies i bet you can't eat just one the reason

Charles:
right

Dan:
is because that wheat powder that they sprinkle on there makes it more tasty and our bodies react to that as a chemical

Charles:
oh

Dan:
and

Charles:
ah

Dan:
it actually encourages hunger so it's in that wheat is the gluten so it's it's in stuff you don't even realize it that's why it's really difficult to kind of get it out o your diet but you know

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
just go for a little while and you'll

Charles:
the first

Dan:
be good

Charles:
time

Dan:
so

Charles:
i did the first time i didn't

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
know sugar no grain you know my

Dan:
ah

Charles:
my breakfast every day was either

Dan:
oh

Charles:
bacon and eggs or good omelet and the closest restaurant

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
to me house was an eye hop or international house of pancakes

Dan:
oh

Charles:
as we used to call it and their omelets were always

Dan:
oh

Charles:
so much fluffier than everybody else is so i thought you know hey that's kind weird maybe they just put some

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
cream in there or something in with the eggs but

Dan:
what's the

Charles:
no they

Dan:
secret

Charles:
they

Dan:
what's

Charles:
say right

Dan:
the secret

Charles:
there right there on the menu they put some of their pancake batter in

Dan:
m

Charles:
the

Dan:
oh

Charles:
in the eggs for their omelets

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
pancake batter so

Dan:
i

Charles:
that's

Dan:
had a roommate i had a roommate shortly after college who actually was a general manager or manager at a hop and that's when i first heard about i and i was just like why would you and he's like it such makes a difference why they fluff up and they're

Charles:
oh

Dan:
so

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
beautiful

Charles:
yeah absolutely

Dan:
it's the yeah better

Charles:
so yeah

Dan:
oh

Charles:
that's something to keep in mind you don't know what you know

Dan:
oh

Charles:
most most diet plans that ar big change from what you're currently

Dan:
m

Charles:
used to are effective if you can stick to them and the big reason is because for most of them you have to start cooking at home a lot more than you already have

Dan:
oh

Charles:
been so whether you're doing you know adkins or quito palio or even a low fat diet if if part

Dan:
m

Charles:
of the deal is you have to cook food at home instead

Dan:
m

Charles:
of just picking up already made stuff at

Dan:
oh

Charles:
the grocery store or eating on the run then you know you'll you'll i wait on pretty much

Dan:
m

Charles:
any of them if you start cooking all of your things from home at home from you know just full ingredients

Dan:
my yeah absolutely single ingredient foods and it's going to be a lot easier to track when you're when you're also

Charles:
oh

Dan:
making

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
it at home to you know versus all the other little things that they put into so you don't know what kind of how much butter they used how much oil they used you know in preparing your meals i mean they can tell you yeah we use this kind of oil this kind of butter but you know even the chef may not remember it's going to use different out every single

Charles:
right

Dan:
time think about when you're cooking you

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
know if you're not if you're not you know really aware

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
of what you're doing and measuring out the scoop or measuring things out you know the chef is probably fairly consistent you know but still it

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
could be a different chef that day i could be somebody cubbing in for the chef once in a while that happened when i worked in a restaurant they'd

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
bring up some of the pantry the pantry cooks that just prepared the sou chefs and they end up cooking and so you don't know you really don't

Charles:
yeah it's it's definitely when when you can eat at home eat at home when you can't then

Dan:
kay

Charles:
just try to stick to simple

Dan:
oh

Charles:
food food that's as simple as you can as you can find and you can manage that that's your best bet

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
if you'elooking to change anything i mean if you're if you're cool with the way things are and

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know you're enjoyed life and then by all means stay the

Dan:
oh

Charles:
course but yeah if you're if you're looking to make changes that's a good place to start

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
all right let's

Dan:
m

Charles:
let's talk about this stuff on our face

Dan:
m

Charles:
well i'll

Dan:
oh

Charles:
mind mostly

Dan:
oh

Charles:
this facial hair let's let's talk

Dan:
i get

Charles:
about

Dan:
some dirt

Charles:
facial hair

Dan:
you talk about the dirt on my chin and i'm

Charles:
i

Dan:
under

Charles:
never

Dan:
my nose

Charles:
buy

Dan:
oh

Charles:
you every every time as a young man you you try to grow

Dan:
m

Charles:
some facial hair just you all the jokes that people

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know feel like they have to make to you about

Dan:
m

Charles:
forgot to wash

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
your face mordybutyou know stuff like that is just endless

Dan:
what you talkin

Charles:
i remember

Dan:
about i get that

Charles:
that

Dan:
as an old man i get that

Charles:
i

Dan:
as an

Charles:
guess

Dan:
old

Charles:
you

Dan:
man

Charles:
do

Dan:
too what are you talking

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
about man young man

Charles:
i i'll still get it occasionally and it's you know the

Dan:
what

Charles:
the chronic

Dan:
stop

Charles:
disease of

Dan:
come on

Charles:
people who aren't funny trying to be funny i don't know that we'll ever

Dan:
oh

Charles:
we'll ever find a cure for that all right so

Dan:
oh

Charles:
here's what our book atomic attraction has to say in the chapter to shave or not to shave so he makes it pretty clear that

Dan:
oh

Charles:
multitude of studies women

Dan:
oh

Charles:
typically find that facial hair

Dan:
i

Charles:
has a positive effect on

Dan:
m

Charles:
a man's appearance that when looking at pictures

Dan:
oh

Charles:
of men with heavy stubble or beard they are rated

Dan:
m

Charles:
by women

Dan:
m

Charles:
at least women who participate in these surveys which we can you know talk about the methodology of the surveys

Dan:
m

Charles:
but they rated is more masculine and attractive as

Dan:
oh

Charles:
well as healthier i'm sorry masculine and assertive

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
as well as healthier and more attractive

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
he cites a study of three hundred and fifty one women which you know admittedly

Dan:
m

Charles:
is a little a little light when it comes to a selection

Dan:
m

Charles:
and we also don't know

Dan:
m

Charles:
culturally where they're from what their ages or anything like that but you know

Dan:
hm

Charles:
he's he's willing to put

Dan:
m

Charles:
in his book so i'm willing to repeat it three

Dan:
m

Charles:
hundred fifty one women found that heavy stubble is the most attractive

Dan:
m

Charles:
facial hair man can grow which he fines

Dan:
m

Charles:
as around ten days worth of growth um

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
m i don't know for some people ten

Dan:
m

Charles:
days worth of growth would be very light stubble and for

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
others ten days worth of growth would be an actual beard so your

Dan:
m

Charles:
your mileage may

Dan:
oh

Charles:
vary but heavy stubble seems to be the thing

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
that most women find

Dan:
m

Charles:
attractive because it's

Dan:
m

Charles:
the good news for us is

Dan:
oh

Charles:
it's one of the easiest looks

Dan:
m

Charles:
to cultivate because all you have to do is get a set of clippers and

Dan:
oh

Charles:
experiment with either a half guard or a number one guard and just go over your whole face with it instead of

Dan:
m

Charles:
shaving every day

Dan:
yah

Charles:
i would recommend you know keeping the area down around your neck and throw cleaner because that when that gets too long unless it's to support a full

Dan:
m

Charles:
long beard this

Dan:
m

Charles:
this part on me at least could get

Dan:
m

Charles:
very kind of

Dan:
m

Charles:
jos dirty looking it

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
just it gets a little it looks like oh you haven't you haven't shaved in a while where

Dan:
okay

Charles:
if you make a line for your beard right right

Dan:
m

Charles:
around here and then just grow stubble

Dan:
m

Charles:
on your cheeks your upper lip and

Dan:
m

Charles:
your chin and not all the way down it does look like you've it looks

Dan:
m

Charles:
a little

Dan:
m

Charles:
deliberate which is you know kind of

Dan:
m

Charles:
counter intuitively what what women

Dan:
m

Charles:
seem to respond to

Dan:
m

Charles:
they wanted to be a little deliberate but also look a little

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
wild you know what i mean

Dan:
yeah same same thing with the hair on your head for sure

Charles:
true true very true all right so facial

Dan:
m

Charles:
hair

Dan:
i

Charles:
is

Dan:
think

Charles:
not only

Dan:
i think

Charles:
go

Dan:
they

Charles:
ahead

Dan:
just like it but but when it comes to back hair i think

Charles:
eh

Dan:
they just want it wild it's kind of coming out over the top that's that's what i've heard in the studies that i've conducted

Charles:
yeah that's that reminds me of a of a joke i heard a long time ago

Dan:
oh

Charles:
why do

Dan:
oh

Charles:
why do us italian guys wear necklaces so much so we know where to stop shaving oh

Dan:
i haven't heard that that's good

Charles:
yeah all right so in this chapter we have case study

Dan:
m

Charles:
number two a fellow named gary

Dan:
h

Charles:
and we don't need to go into garry's i think there's less to learn from

Dan:
m

Charles:
garry's case study than the last one that we did so we don't need to cover it in quite as much

Dan:
m

Charles:
detail but

Dan:
oh

Charles:
here's here's a deal with garry so garry

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
was a fairly clean cut guy he had od job good look that at least he was happy with and he just didn't have the luck with the ladies that he

Dan:
m

Charles:
that he wished that he did

Dan:
oh

Charles:
and so one day gary gets sick i think he caught nemonia and was kind of just out of commission for a while

Dan:
m

Charles:
lost some way basically he couldn't couldn't get out of bed for a few

Dan:
m

Charles:
weeks and then he came back

Dan:
oh

Charles:
to his friend group after that

Dan:
m

Charles:
and he hadn't shaved and so he had

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know a little little something

Dan:
m

Charles:
going on with his facial hair

Dan:
m

Charles:
and he

Dan:
m

Charles:
immediately started getting compliments that he looked cool that he looked

Dan:
m

Charles:
like a bad ass blah blah blah and he said that he got some attention the study says that he got some attention

Dan:
m

Charles:
from women that he wasn't used to so

Dan:
m

Charles:
and the root of this similar to

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
you know the root of a muscular body and the

Dan:
m

Charles:
reason that these things are attractive is

Dan:
m

Charles:
they do translate to the presence of testosterone

Dan:
hm

Charles:
um but as the book points out you know

Dan:
yeh

Charles:
some guys who are used to cultivating

Dan:
m

Charles:
a very clean cut image

Dan:
m

Charles:
can be worried that you know know

Dan:
m

Charles:
i'll look rough i'll look lazy i'll look dishevelled i'll look like

Dan:
m

Charles:
a bad guy if i let my facial hair

Dan:
m

Charles:
grow again i don't know if a single employer

Dan:
m

Charles:
any more

Dan:
m

Charles:
these days you know unless you're like a t v news anchor or something like that but

Dan:
m

Charles:
even disney has relaxed their requirements further prohibitions on facial hair so

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know growing a cultivated but

Dan:
m

Charles:
stubbly look is something that i can't imagine a

Dan:
m

Charles:
job even a very conservative field like you know some

Dan:
m

Charles:
things we traditionally

Dan:
hm

Charles:
think of like finance or

Dan:
m

Charles:
law you're not going to set your career back or or your status

Dan:
m

Charles:
among your your co workers back by sporting

Dan:
hm

Charles:
a little bit of stubble

Dan:
m

Charles:
again especially

Dan:
m

Charles:
if you take care to mind the lines

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know lines on your chin m sorry lines on your cheek lines

Dan:
m

Charles:
on your chin m so if you know if you're looking for a way to shake things up and maybe see if you get some different

Dan:
m

Charles:
results when it comes to your

Dan:
m

Charles:
social interactions definitely give that a

Dan:
m

Charles:
try if you've been if you've been sporting

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
the clean cut look for a while and you you want to you're open to scene how something else might work for you i would say

Dan:
oh

Charles:
give a little facial hair a try

Dan:
m

Charles:
and you know you can go you don't have

Dan:
oh

Charles:
to just go stubble if you

Dan:
oh

Charles:
want to grow got or a mustache or full beard then by

Dan:
m

Charles:
all means you can try that too but just know

Dan:
m

Charles:
that at least in the work that he's done in

Dan:
m

Charles:
the studies that he cited

Dan:
m

Charles:
the the heavy stubble is

Dan:
m

Charles:
the short cut to being the most attractive for the majority of men

Dan:
yeah so i just

Charles:
i

Dan:
wanted to get your take on this Charles for

Charles:
oh

Dan:
lengthwise let's say we want to go for a beard and we have the capability to grow a beard like myself how long do you think we can oh where it's still looking attractive and still showing some sort of signs of higher test of strone levels

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
at versus looking like zz top now

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
you know the z z top beard i think if these were just to guy is sitting on a bench somewhere

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
in a park and weren't famous rock stars i don't know if people would be as into it as you know into at least them as they might be but i'm just curious i see a lot of guys who have rather long beards and they're not exactly i would say kemp they're a little scraggly here and there

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
and you know and look it's not i'm not a fair judge of that because that's you know that's

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
not the kind of look that i like but the end of a couple of people i've talked a couple of ladies i've talked to it's not something that they've liked but i just cures from your experience is bigger better when it comes to the beard

Charles:
a good question so you know i would

Dan:
oh

Charles:
say that you there is a lot of

Dan:
oh

Charles:
i mean i have friends that you know their

Dan:
m

Charles:
goal is to just grow as

Dan:
m

Charles:
long and as full as they possibly

Dan:
oh

Charles:
can and um m

Dan:
m

Charles:
they have not stated a high priority for

Dan:
oh

Charles:
trying to attract members of the opposite sex so i don't know exactly what they're interactions i mean there will be some women that are super in to it but again

Dan:
m

Charles:
like i

Dan:
hm

Charles:
said i just re listened to the

Dan:
m

Charles:
episode that went alive today

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know we're talking about advice that

Dan:
m

Charles:
is applicable to the white variety of men to attract

Dan:
oh

Charles:
the widest range of women right so i would say

Dan:
oh

Charles:
you can go from

Dan:
m

Charles:
from short to long

Dan:
m

Charles:
doesn't really matter but

Dan:
m

Charles:
here's one thing to keep in mind the longer it

Dan:
m

Charles:
the longer you grow your beard the tougher job you're going to have

Dan:
m

Charles:
to groom it in a way

Dan:
m

Charles:
that it looks like it's being

Dan:
m

Charles:
actively kept up

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know what i mean

Dan:
great

Charles:
where

Dan:
point

Charles:
if you're growing a short beard then you know and i've an

Dan:
oh

Charles:
i've done this i've thrown like a number three or number

Dan:
oh

Charles:
four guard on and just done the whole my whole face with that

Dan:
m

Charles:
and that looks like okay this is

Dan:
m

Charles:
a guy who who keeps a short

Dan:
m

Charles:
beard but the longer it gets

Dan:
m

Charles:
to get those lions

Dan:
m

Charles:
looking like it's being like you're putting

Dan:
oh

Charles:
time and effort into maintaining it you might be really good at doing

Dan:
m

Charles:
that yourself i want

Dan:
m

Charles:
plenty tube videos of guys who could just stand in

Dan:
m

Charles:
the

Dan:
m

Charles:
mirror and use clippers and scissors

Dan:
m

Charles:
and combs and they could get it looking really really

Dan:
m

Charles:
good but i would say

Dan:
m

Charles:
if if having a lengthy beard is your goal then you should

Dan:
m

Charles:
probably ass you're gonna have to spend

Dan:
m

Charles:
some time finding and going to a decent barber

Dan:
m

Charles:
who can

Dan:
m

Charles:
keep those lions looking looking tight for you and you know the thing is sort of catch twenty two is

Dan:
m

Charles:
if you're at growing a

Dan:
m

Charles:
long full beard your hair probably grows pretty fast and

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know for a good beard trim in

Dan:
m

Charles:
the orlando area

Dan:
m

Charles:
where you and i live

Dan:
m

Charles:
you know it's hard to imagine you're getting that

Dan:
m

Charles:
done for less than twenty five dollars including the tip so if you're going

Dan:
hm

Charles:
every week

Dan:
m

Charles:
or every other week because like i said your hair grows really

Dan:
oh

Charles:
fat as you know you're talking about spending fifty

Dan:
m

Charles:
to a hundred dollars a month to keep that long beard looking like it's like it's being maintained

Dan:
m hm

Charles:
now there is

Dan:
oh

Charles:
a possibility that you could go for a while

Dan:
m

Charles:
and watch what they do and how they do it and then to do it yourself and maybe pick up some of

Dan:
m

Charles:
that knowledge that's that's a possibility as well

Dan:
m

Charles:
but i would say that

Dan:
m

Charles:
if full beard is your

Dan:
m

Charles:
game and you want to keep it

Dan:
m

Charles:
maintained then

Dan:
m

Charles:
go with a short medium length one where again you just put on the same

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
number guard and just do your whole face with that

Dan:
yah

Charles:
and then you know use a razor to keep the line it's nice and clean

Dan:
so from from your experience talking to you know being friends with a number of different women and your experience you know dating different women

Charles:
oh

Dan:
how many of them prefer a beard that requires that much work

Charles:
ah

Dan:
do they say hey

Charles:
yes

Dan:
this is you know this guy is so hot because because

Charles:
oh

Dan:
he's got this really long beard or you know have you heard anything one way or the other just curious

Charles:
yeah i did have i did get feed back from a couple of women when i switched from a fairly long

Dan:
oh

Charles:
beard back to stubble um they like the beard better than the stubble they

Dan:
interesting

Charles:
their favorite look for me are on me

Dan:
m m

Charles:
was very short hair up top and a long beard

Dan:
m m wow okay

Charles:
so that's that's one piece of advice that i got the other thing is that the longer your

Dan:
m

Charles:
hair is the easier it is to condition it

Dan:
m

Charles:
and keep it from being

Dan:
oh

Charles:
prickly and

Dan:
m m

Charles:
women's faces are

Dan:
m

Charles:
pretty sensitive as are other parts

Dan:
m yeah

Charles:
and so having

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
sharp little wires rubbing against them or sticking them it may not be the most fun

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
so that's a situation where longer might

Dan:
oh

Charles:
be better or you know certainly

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
completely recently clean shaven would be

Dan:
m

Charles:
better too but

Dan:
yeah i know

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
that's that's that's interesting i know i've

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
heard that too because mine is fairly short and

Charles:
yah

Dan:
so i need to regularly use a levin conditioner to keep it soft

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
to keep it softer and otherwise it is scratchy for sure so m yeah it's definitely something to think about

Charles:
right well since

Dan:
oh

Charles:
you know that last point that i made has definitely earned us the explicit check mark on this episode

Dan:
oh

Charles:
let's get into pinus size right so here's here's a fun topic to obsess over and single handedly ruin your own life with

Dan:
m yeah

Charles:
this is the data does

Dan:
m

Charles:
not support worrying about

Dan:
m

Charles:
your size down there as much as you may already be doing as certainly as much as some

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
guys definitely do

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
here's here's what we can we can say and

Dan:
m

Charles:
again this is you know just in the realm of going

Dan:
m

Charles:
gray or the room the realm of going bald

Dan:
m

Charles:
the problem is

Dan:
m

Charles:
often almost all of the time not what's going

Dan:
m

Charles:
on with your body

Dan:
m

Charles:
the problem is what's going on with your mind

Dan:
m

Charles:
about what's going on with your body and

Dan:
h

Charles:
your

Dan:
m

Charles:
your size down

Dan:
oh

Charles:
there is usually and we'll talk about this except for the vast a very small minority of men your size is not going to be an issue

Dan:
h

Charles:
of concern or an issue that makes you less

Dan:
h

Charles:
attractive the way you think about and the way you act as a result of it is going to be the thing that gets in your way

Dan:
i

Charles:
um

Dan:
mean let's be honest

Charles:
m

Dan:
with you with everybody here that's one of the few things that we really can't change or at least not very easily at all about ourselves so what are our alternatives here in terms of the effectiveness of or r our penis size basically out in the world and that's really going to be a lot more determined basic basically what you said which was our thoughts about it how we are coming

Charles:
right

Dan:
across with you know with you know and how it's affecting our interactions that is going to be a lot more critical and that's what we have a lot more control over as well

Charles:
right and i mean i remember just a

Dan:
m

Charles:
few weeks ago where

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
gretta thunburg and andrew

Dan:
my

Charles:
tate got into it on twitter and you know she accused him of small

Dan:
m

Charles:
dick energy in the way that he was behaving

Dan:
m

Charles:
which

Dan:
m m

Charles:
i found interesting

Dan:
m

Charles:
that she got such a

Dan:
m

Charles:
positive response to that because

Dan:
m

Charles:
it seems like you know the we have gotten

Dan:
m

Charles:
to the point where the one

Dan:
m

Charles:
physical characteristic that's beyond your control

Dan:
m

Charles:
that you can't do anything about changing

Dan:
m

Charles:
that still

Dan:
m

Charles:
completely fine to make fun of somebody about is the size there

Dan:
m

Charles:
pens and anything else

Dan:
m

Charles:
that you know even even making fun of a guy because

Dan:
m

Charles:
he's short

Dan:
m

Charles:
we all kind of agree it's like

Dan:
m

Charles:
okay you can you know that's

Dan:
oh

Charles:
that's not a great thing to do right

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
but you can you can make

Dan:
m

Charles:
if a guy is acting in a way that you don't like

Dan:
m

Charles:
you can accuse him of small dick energy and you know

Dan:
m m

Charles:
guys on the you know guys on the side

Dan:
m

Charles:
line who actually do have a medical condition

Dan:
m

Charles:
like micropenus they have to just sit there on the side line they get okay what did i do to

Dan:
m

Charles:
get hit with this scrap and a wiseness about me all of a sudden

Dan:
right yeah

Charles:
and

Dan:
yeah and

Charles:
so yeah it goes back to what you and i talked about a few weeks

Dan:
m

Charles:
ago dan i

Dan:
m

Charles:
find it

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
a colossal waste of time to take

Dan:
m

Charles:
either pride or shame in things about yourself

Dan:
m

Charles:
that you didn't do anything to

Dan:
m

Charles:
earn

Dan:
m

Charles:
or set yourself back from

Dan:
m

Charles:
it's just you know at

Dan:
m

Charles:
your eye color

Dan:
m

Charles:
how tall you are you're

Dan:
m

Charles:
much of your cognitive

Dan:
m

Charles:
capabilities

Dan:
m

Charles:
these are things that happen to you

Dan:
m

Charles:
as a result of luck

Dan:
m

Charles:
these are not things that you

Dan:
m

Charles:
often do something to earn so whether they're good or bad they work for you or against you

Dan:
m

Charles:
being proud of them or

Dan:
m

Charles:
ashamed of them

Dan:
m

Charles:
is not the best use of your time

Dan:
right and you know when i hate to go back to the school yard but really sticks and stones yet right this is

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
she has no idea how big his you know his

Charles:
right

Dan:
johnson is and even if it was you know even if it was

Charles:
yea

Dan:
small or whatever she was right about that then then honestly who cares because you know what there's going to be there's so many people out there everybody has so many preferences some people might actually some ladies might actually prefer a smaller sized venus because of the way it fits better for them you

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
know it's you can't say you know i really know i just just use one of our feller words there i just realize that right now that you know

Charles:
okay

Dan:
we're trying to

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
just forverybody out there we realized how many times we say you know so we apologize in advance for all the times you've heard us say that

Charles:
oh and i've got i've got a few other ones on my list that i need to work on too so it's not just that one

Dan:
right so look you know as i've gotten older i've realized i really don't care what anybody says when it comes to an opinion about me where anybody else because really there let them think that there's always going to be somebody out there who finds you know whatever whatever you have insecurities about they're going

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
to find it attractive you just may not have met that person yet

Charles:
true

Dan:
but if you look

Charles:
no

Dan:
at

Charles:
that's

Dan:
if you

Charles:
right

Dan:
look at all of the crazy things about porn all the different fetishes that are out there and you could you know things that are absolutely you wouldn't be able to even think of a dream up of yourself somebody else thought about that and probably are attracted to it

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
that's that's there's some sort of a law or

Dan:
ah

Charles:
raiser like you know ocum's raiser or handlings rais or one of those things that basically says

Dan:
i get

Charles:
if there's a if there's a thing you can think about in the context

Dan:
oh

Charles:
of sexuality if you can even imagine

Dan:
m oh

Charles:
it then there's a person out there who can't get off without that one thing no

Dan:
oh

Charles:
matter how crazy it might be

Dan:
eh

Charles:
and so yeah there's definitely a matter of whatever you've got going on that will work for someone it's just a matter of

Dan:
m

Charles:
finding that someone but

Dan:
m

Charles:
for the vast majority of us and when i say majority of us the middle fifty percent of guys so think of you know from the

Dan:
m

Charles:
twenty fifth to

Dan:
m

Charles:
seventy fifth percentile

Dan:
oh

Charles:
the middle of us in the middle

Dan:
m

Charles:
fifty percent our size within a centimeter of each other

Dan:
that blew my mind and this was a study for what fifteen thousand people that

Charles:
you

Dan:
they did this

Charles:
fifteen thousand five hundred twenty one around across all continents

Dan:
oh

Charles:
all over the world the middle

Dan:
that they

Charles:
fifty

Dan:
studied

Charles:
percent is within a centimeter of each other

Dan:
yeah and look at a ruler guys take a look at a ruler and look

Charles:
i

Dan:
at how small a centimeter is and

Charles:
yes

Dan:
tell me that you know you can't stretch it

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
a little bit longer if you wanted to

Charles:
i

Dan:
or

Charles:
happen to have

Dan:
scratch

Charles:
one right

Dan:
it

Charles:
here

Dan:
down or right or or you know when it's cold outside you get cause the costanza you know it was you know it was shrinkage jerry

Charles:
so

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
that the space

Dan:
absolutely

Charles:
between and

Dan:
i

Charles:
i

Dan:
mean

Charles:
have and i have small hands and which we learn does not correlate to anything i have small hands and that

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
is that is the length of one centimeter right there so it is very

Dan:
right

Charles:
it's very

Dan:
oh

Charles:
very little and then

Dan:
oh

Charles:
okay so what if we go a little bit into a little bit more into

Dan:
oh

Charles:
the into the extremes what we've learned about that is that only five

Dan:
m

Charles:
per cent participants

Dan:
m

Charles:
in this study had

Dan:
hm

Charles:
one larger than six point three

Dan:
m

Charles:
in less than five

Dan:
ye

Charles:
percent had one smaller than three point nine

Dan:
hm

Charles:
so even even the extreme five

Dan:
m

Charles:
percent on either end still was not all that different

Dan:
m

Charles:
from the average size

Dan:
m you know and i think i'm going to just realized i lead with you know i'm gonna have to stop that

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
the what is interesting to me is we hear i think a lot about the damage that porn

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
does in

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
terms of relationships for for men and in one in some ways i can see that for setting unrealistic expectations for the way women look however do we ever think that some of the men that we end up watching on poor and who have who are in that top five per cent we don't that that is subconsciously probably also programming us to think hey we should be we should be

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
the size these porn stars and whether we think about it or not is still something we have seen from time to time and it does get implanted in our subconscious at some level obviously some more than others but that's something to think about here when it comes to pornography habits is

Charles:
sure

Dan:
just kind of be aware of all of the information and all the programming that we're getting here it's not just you know creating these unrealistic expectatis for for the way women look

Charles:
no no definitely not we we've alluded to that before with

Dan:
ah

Charles:
you know the way are our biggest movie stars who are now men in

Dan:
m

Charles:
their forties fifties and sixties and they're walking around with you know six

Dan:
m

Charles:
percent body fat

Dan:
m

Charles:
and huge pecks huge arms and

Dan:
m

Charles:
ripped abs and uh you know a lot of guys watch

Dan:
oh

Charles:
those movies probably you know slightly more guys than the women watch those movies and think all right well i guess that's what i've got to be

Dan:
m

Charles:
and they don't realize you know the time and money that it takes

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
to get yourself into that

Dan:
oh

Charles:
into that condition and and genetics too i mean although i

Dan:
my

Charles:
suspect you know with it time money

Dan:
a

Charles:
and farmasutocols

Dan:
m

Charles:
most of the genetic limitations could probably be

Dan:
m

Charles:
overcome

Dan:
oh

Charles:
when

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
you agree yeah but

Dan:
oh absolutely and

Charles:
with what

Dan:
i mean

Charles:
the third

Dan:
you

Charles:
leg

Dan:
can

Charles:
of that the third leg of that stool eat very important farmasuticles

Dan:
right yeah i mean genetics really honestly Charles i don't think that really plays much of a factor until you're doing some sort of comparison between people right so

Charles:
right

Dan:
if you're going to like like profs a body builders at that point right they're all doing similar amounts of farmisuticales and working out and eating

Charles:
right

Dan:
not that different from each other at that point that's where i think the genetic our gonna come into play and it's kind of like the same thing if ouevergone shopping for a teller vision where

Charles:
yep

Dan:
you are you know like a old school circuit city your best by and you're looking at a t v and like this s got a beautiful picture until maybe take a step back and you compare that next to the son t v and you're like

Charles:
right

Dan:
oh i had no idea

Charles:
a

Dan:
but for you it had there was no difference when you born comparing it to something else

Charles:
yeah i noticed that when

Dan:
oh

Charles:
i was buying my first t v you know looking at the sam songs and the l l gs and the son

Dan:
m

Charles:
is that in the store it's like man they really are cut above the vizeos but

Dan:
m

Charles:
i'm not going to mount two t vs up in my house i'm only going

Dan:
oh

Charles:
to have one there's not going o be another t v right next to it you know tie the same thing when you shop for

Dan:
m

Charles:
engagement rings it's like oh

Dan:
m

Charles:
this this diamond has such unbelievable clarity and the color is so perfect but you know you're not going to have ideally your you're soon to be wife

Dan:
m

Charles:
isn't going to be wearing her ring among ten other ones

Dan:
m

Charles:
with all different levels

Dan:
yeh

Charles:
of clarity and color it's

Dan:
oh

Charles:
just going to be on her finger so the idea that you have to have a flawless diamond

Dan:
m

Charles:
when it's not going to be next to other diamonds

Dan:
m

Charles:
is you know silly

Dan:
m

Charles:
like like with a t v so and

Dan:
i

Charles:
so just yeah don't put your pinus right next to trpenuses

Dan:
m

Charles:
in an effort to compare them and you'll be

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
fine you know

Dan:
right

Charles:
but now if you're if your tastes involve you know having multiple ones

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
lined up for a woman pick her favorite if if

Dan:
m

Charles:
that's a situation you find yourself

Dan:
m

Charles:
in then maybe you do have a legitimate right legitimate

Dan:
m

Charles:
right to more concern than the dan and sane

Dan:
well well maybe not because

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
there was another study right there was another study in here all right correct me if i'm wrong where they

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
had the same man a picture of a man and they three different sized penis is a small medium and large and they were asking the women which man they find most attractive and the only thing they switched out was the peanut size

Charles:
right

Dan:
and the one that won was the middle

Charles:
average

Dan:
one

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
the

Charles:
the

Dan:
average

Charles:
average

Dan:
size not not bigger not smaller

Charles:
oh

Dan:
and

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
that's where most of us fall is in that that range

Charles:
that is very true dan but i will disagree

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
with you to say that again if you find yourself with a lady who

Dan:
m

Charles:
is orchestrating a penis

Dan:
m

Charles:
line up where she gets to pick her favorite where

Dan:
m

Charles:
where she goes to the trouble of getting all multiple guys lined up in a room so she can

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
pick out her favorite she may have a preference in one direction or the other that doesn't line up exactly with these random women that are looking at

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
digitally altered pictures

Dan:
so the gold rock the goldy locks rule doesn't apply here

Charles:
i don't know i've never been in that room so i don't know how it works i'm just saying that like we said a second ago that room must exist and that must be the thing for some people

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
but yeah

Dan:
oh

Charles:
it's it's not something i could

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
speak directly to because i've never participated so

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
all right so yeah the bottom line

Dan:
oh

Charles:
is even if you think you have a problem you're probably

Dan:
m

Charles:
still average or really close to it and to

Dan:
m ye oh

Charles:
what you think is a problem for you is probably not going to be a problem for

Dan:
m

Charles:
the right woman when you find her and she's compatible with you but all that

Dan:
m

Charles:
said i will say this if if you are concerned with your size and you want to know is there anything you can do about it there are certainly surgical interventions that

Dan:
m

Charles:
i've not heard any that i would recommend by

Dan:
oh

Charles:
any means they're all pretty pretty complicated i mean once you get into the realm of okay i've got a rectile

Dan:
my

Charles:
distfunct and it's just not working then surgery is a different

Dan:
m

Charles:
matter than just a elective cosmetic surgery because

Dan:
m

Charles:
you don't like that it's it's not as big as

Dan:
oh

Charles:
you want but i will say if you drop some weight especially from that sort

Dan:
m

Charles:
of padded area right below

Dan:
m

Charles:
your belly and above your abdomen that will have an impact on how how things appear down there

Dan:
m yeah

Charles:
that's probably your

Dan:
m

Charles:
easiest bet to transform that

Dan:
m

Charles:
area into looking bigger than it currently does is drop

Dan:
m

Charles:
some of that fat from that from below your belly and things will look better

Dan:
m

Charles:
oh and the other thing is grooming um u i am not a person that's gonna you know take absolutely

Dan:
m

Charles:
everything off down there but

Dan:
m

Charles:
by all means you know the same same number three

Dan:
m

Charles:
or four guard that

Dan:
m

Charles:
you're putting on your beard that's

Dan:
m

Charles:
that's probably a pretty good place

Dan:
m

Charles:
to start down there as well so

Dan:
oh

Charles:
if it you know if it looks like

Dan:
m

Charles:
a bird's nest down there that's going to make the eggs in the nest look smaller

Dan:
for sure absolutely the other thing to think about here is what what is

Charles:
oh

Dan:
really what are we really trying to do with our pens for women

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
right and and and let's let's let's it

Charles:
oh

Dan:
is one piece of the puzzle here it is really to make them feel good you know ultimately to make them or gas so that is one piece of this but remember that women there's a lot of other things that go into turning a woman on getting them excited it is not purely a mechanical in where you know our penis needs to be this length and it needs

Charles:
right

Dan:
to go in and out in this this fashion there's so much that leads up to that that get the woman excited get them able to actually that or

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
orgasm so i really think you know the penis size it's it's part of a larger larger puzzle here that where we're going and tools if you would to

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
actually get the woman excited and and give her the pleasure that she wants so there's other areas that we have a lot more control over in addition to keeping things clean down there but you know emotionally connecting with that woman beforehand that comes with being confident you know where are you you know the four play the other touching and kissing and other parts of the body that excite the woman right it is not purely that the penis so i think we as men overall can can start to really relax on worrying about pinus size oh

Charles:
yeah that that brings up

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
a um

Dan:
oh

Charles:
survey i was just recently reading within

Dan:
oh

Charles:
the last week that is good information for men to remember pinus and vagina sex

Dan:
oh

Charles:
is the easiest way to orgasm for less than

Dan:
m

Charles:
easiest way to orgasm for less

Dan:
ah

Charles:
than a third of women so less than a third of women that is the best way

Dan:
oh

Charles:
for them to have an orgasm

Dan:
oh

Charles:
for the other two thirds

Dan:
wow

Charles:
there are other things that are better

Dan:
oh i did not realize that

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
i mean in my experience that that it lines

Charles:
oh

Dan:
up i never really realized that the number was was that low so

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
that should also help kind of take the the

Charles:
pressure

Dan:
burden

Charles:
off a little

Dan:
off

Charles:
bit

Dan:
of guys

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
right and just kind of make you realize that it's mostly in men's heads that we're concerned it's not that big of a deal for women i was full confession for you know i watched a lot of married at first sight because it's

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
it's crazy you know some one that is crazy to me and the most recent season they were actually asking interviewing different women what they're looking for guy and one of the women was very blunt and said you know i'm looking for seven eight inches and you know i was i was you know kind of loke at my girl friend and we looked at each

Charles:
oh

Dan:
other in that scene a little bit you know a little bit large i thought and then what's interesting was it was so important to her that was the first thing she said then he interviewed her literally like maybe a couple of weeks later an she's like oh yeah you know i need i need a really large guy at six to seven inches

Charles:
uh uh

Dan:
and it was like okay so even when it's super import or its supposedly

Charles:
right

Dan:
super important it's not accurate at this point right they're not you know they don't they on't have a good sense of what you know what measurements actually are so yeah i think

Charles:
yeah

Dan:
the rule thumb here guys i take it easy

Charles:
and i wonder if you know these these discussions

Dan:
oh

Charles:
about size they almost always

Dan:
m

Charles:
center around excuse me length and not girth and i wonder if

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
that's just because it's easier to

Dan:
oh

Charles:
measure length than girth because in reality

Dan:
for sure yeah

Charles:
if there is one that's going to have

Dan:
m m

Charles:
an effect on on women it's going to be you just based on them

Dan:
oh

Charles:
atomy it's going to be girth more than length but we still always find ourselves talking about

Dan:
m

Charles:
length instead

Dan:
m

Charles:
which doesn't make a whole lot of sense other than you know it's easier to whip out piece of string or a tape measure and we're more familiar

Dan:
uh

Charles:
with length than we are with girth so that yeah

Dan:
m

Charles:
the whole thing really the more time

Dan:
m

Charles:
you spend thinking about it the less sense that it makes that we're spending all this time thinking about it

Dan:
yeah yeah that's that's interesting you know and just might come down to look at you said we might have more tools easily available to measure length than than girth right so you know

Charles:
oh

Dan:
having base ruler around

Charles:
ye

Dan:
or a tape measure is fine but to get around to get the

Charles:
right

Dan:
circumference you got to put some effort into it right you need to have them be a tape measure not everybody has one of those so yeah that's this really interesting

Charles:
not everybody knows that pie is

Dan:
yeah

Charles:
twenty two divided by seven i mean it's you

Dan:
that's

Charles:
know

Dan:
a

Charles:
there's

Dan:
lot of math dude

Charles:
it is

Dan:
that's a

Charles:
it

Dan:
lot

Charles:
is

Dan:
of math

Charles:
i hope in addition to making you uncomfortable

Dan:
m

Charles:
we also gave you some stuff to think about and laugh at

Dan:
m

Charles:
and for our next episode we will come back to

Dan:
m

Charles:
another sort of useless

Dan:
m

Charles:
reason to be concerned which is your age and and why you're letting

Dan:
m yeah

Charles:
your thoughts about your age get in your way of being the most attractive

Dan:
m

Charles:
that you can

Dan:
sounds good sir

Charles:
talk to you later dan

Dan:
i have a good one by bye

Charles:
toby