Parisian Pastries, Armenian Hospitality, and Other Happenings

In this unique episode of the Mindfully Masculine Podcast, hosts Charles and Dan take a break from their regular series on "The 5 Love Languages for Men" to share personal stories from their recent travels. After a month-long hiatus, the duo reunites to discuss their adventures and the rich cultural experiences they enjoyed. This episode offers a delightful departure from the usual format, providing listeners with a charming mix of travel tales, cultural insights, and humorous anecdotes.

Episode Highlights:

• Charles and Dan's Reunion: Catch up with Charles and Dan as they return from a month-long break, sharing the highlights of their time apart and what they've been up to.
• Parisian Adventures: Dan recounts his trip to Paris, discussing the city’s ambiance, the friendly locals, and the unforgettable pastries. From croissants to the Eiffel Tower, experience Paris through Dan’s eyes.
• Armenian Hospitality: Dan’s journey continues to Armenia, where he explores the rich cultural tapestry and enjoys some of the best food of his trip. Discover the warmth and generosity of Armenian hospitality.
• Travel Tips and Tales: Practical advice for travelers, including navigating language barriers, finding hidden gems, and the importance of savoring every moment.
• Unexpected Discoveries: Hear about Dan's surprise encounters, like a Palestinian protest in Paris and an impromptu dinner at a Master Chef’s home.
• Cultural Insights: Learn about the unique blend of influences that define Armenian culture, from Russian to Middle Eastern, and how these elements come together in their cuisine and traditions.
• Vienna and Beyond: Dan’s adventures don’t stop in Armenia. Listen as he shares his experiences in Vienna, including a memorable Nickelback concert and tasting the famous (yet underwhelming) Sacher Torte.

Call to Action:
If you’re intrigued by our travel stories and cultural insights, don’t forget to follow or subscribe to the Mindfully Masculine Podcast on your favorite podcast app. For those eagerly awaiting our next discussion on "The 5 Love Languages for Men," stay tuned for the next episode where we dive back into the book. You can also watch the full episodes with video on our YouTube channel. Enjoy and stay mindful!

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
• 1:50 Dan's Parisian Experience
• 4:56 Exploring Paris: Pastries and Protests
• 9:42 From Paris to Munich
• 12:26 Vienna Adventures
• 20:55 Armenian Hospitality
• 25:50 Impressions of Armenia
• 29:56 Reflections on Travel and Culture
• 36:11 Charles' Recent Experiences
• 44:17 Closing Remarks and Future Episodes

Transcript

Charles: 0:00

Welcome to the Mindfully Masculine Podcast. This is Charles. Okay, so we're doing something a little different for this episode. Dan and I had a gap in our recording of about four or five weeks and during that time Dan was doing some traveling and I had some stuff going on as well. And we came back and, instead of jumping straight back into the five love languages for men, we decided to do one whole episode where we just kind of caught up on what we both got up to in our time away from each other, and this is that episode. So if you're only in it for the five love languages and the book review, then by all means skip this one, but if you'd like to hear us have a have a chat about his vacation and travels and what I got up to while he was gone, then please enjoy this episode. You can follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast app and also watch full episodes with video on YouTube. Thanks and enjoy. Good morning, charles. How are you? I'm well, dan, thank you. How are you? I am well? Welcome back to America, thank you.

Charles: 1:04

I wanted to have a quick catch up where we can talk about your trip and, yeah, I've been away for a minute too. It's been, yeah, I think, around the 20th of May or something was last time we recorded. Now we're at the 28th of June, so it's been like five weeks since you and I sat down and thank God for that buffer had a yeah, good thing, we taped quite a few of them in advance, so we got some stuff to catch up on, and I want to do that. But because some of our listeners think that all the time we spend talking about ourselves could be a little indulgent and go on a little too long, I'm going to split it into two episodes. So if you want to hear the catch up, if you want to hear Dan and I talk about what we've been up to, then just keep listening to this episode.

Charles: 1:49

And if you don't want to hear that, if you want to hear us jump straight into the next chapter of five love languages for men, then skip this episode and just go to the next one, and within the first couple minutes of that one, we'll jump into the material. It's very kind of you to give them a heads up. I think so too. I think so too. Uh, okay, so tell me all the countries that you visited. New York oh wait, that's not all the countries?

Dan: 2:06

It's all the countries, right? Yeah, actually, from New York, I flew over to France, went to Paris. On what was it? North North, not Norwegian, replaced Norwegian? Oh really, I think so. Yeah, I believe so. But the plane was brand new, it was beautiful. Regular economy was beautiful.

Charles: 2:23

You said the food was pretty bad, right. Food was pretty bad, I remember you specifically said I would hate it. Yes, which I appreciate.

Dan: 2:30

Yeah, because if I think it's bad, you would hate it. You'd buy something in the snack shop or whatever.

Charles: 2:37

Yeah, I was thinking I'll probably pack some. One of my favorites for hiking trips is like a buffalo chicken version of beef jerky essentially a buffalo chicken version of beef jerky, essentially Nice and, yeah, that tends to travel pretty well, and so when I'm going on a long flight, I'll usually bring something like that either a barbecue or a buffalo chicken flavored, preserved.

Dan: 2:53

One thing you will like, though they had Coke Zero. Oh, I do like that. Yeah, so that was instead of the Coke Light. So there was a difference. Over in Europe there was Coke Light, Coke Light, and that was Diet Coke. No, it's supposed to be a Diet Coke, but it does not taste like Diet Coke. It's not that good. But they've changed it all to the zero Diet Coke's pretty nasty to me.

Dan: 3:15

They changed it all from the Coke Light to the zero sugar. So a lot of the places that were having yeah, that have Diet Coke, it's going to be the Coke Zero that have diet coke, it's going to be the coke zero.

Charles: 3:25

So some places in europe just have coke zero. Yes, that's their only diet soda. Yes, that's awesome.

Dan: 3:28

I love that. Yep, not not all of them have diet anything. Not that you're going over there to to follow a diet anyway.

Charles: 3:33

True we certainly didn't. But why drink my calories if I exactly don't have to?

Dan: 3:38

yeah, so that's it definitely worse brand new planes, roomy, spacious, did not feel cramped, even in the lowest price economy, and I think it was like $400 with taxes and everything else like that, one way to Paris. It might've been even a little bit less.

Charles: 3:54

I saw that Miami to Paris or Miami to London, Norse has like hundreds one way.

Dan: 3:59

That's insane. Yeah, we had a flight first to. We took JetBlue to get to JFK Okay, got it Flew from there. Yeah, we had a flight first to. We took JetBlue to get to JFK Okay, got it Flew from there. Yeah, okay.

Charles: 4:06

Yeah, so how many days did you spend in Paris? It?

Dan: 4:09

was three days. It was three days in Paris and it was cold and rainy all three days In.

Charles: 4:14

June or late May.

Dan: 4:15

Yeah, it was not usual what they said for their weather, but we stayed at the Hotel Paris, which was like right in one of the rudiments or I can't even pronounce like the little zones within Paris, and it was right in one of the heart of Paris, there and beautiful, had little balconies and little grassy areas outside the rooms and it was everything that you needed there was. My favorite thing probably was outside the room was a water dispensing machine and they also had seltzer as one of the options you could do hot, cold or carbonated Carbonated and they give you a little bottle like the plastic bottles we got here.

Charles: 4:55

Yeah.

Dan: 4:55

And you fill it up and it was actually sorry, it was a glass carafe, excuse me, it was a fishmance. Yes, the food was fantastic and all of the people that we ran into in Paris were extremely kind, extremely helpful. We cut there and we had a lot of bags and one of the bags that was a suitcase and my girlfriend's all the important stuff, her money, her passport, all everything was in one of these bags on top of the main suitcase bag. We come in. It was pouring rain out. We had. We took three or four trips to get all the bags out of the cab into the hotel. One of the workers at the hotel grabbed the bag, grabbed her bag and put it to the side, and so then we came in and we're like, looking around, she's asking us for the passport so we can check in. And we're looking around and we're like wait a minute, we're missing a bag and we freaked the F out. We thought we left it out on the street. We look outside, there's nothing on the street and it's sitting right next to the worker who was checking us in. So they're like you want a cup of coffee? And we're like okay, they're like just calm down, relax, you're here. It was so calming.

Dan: 6:13

Another night my girlfriend left her phone in an Uber and Uber took off after dropping stuff at the hotel. The girl at the front desk, tasman amazing, she was from Peru. She basically called the Uber for us, talked to the guy and my girlfriend was freaking out a little bit and I would be too, absolutely, if it was my phone Every couple of minutes. She's like how come he's not here yet, how come he's not here yet. And the girl at the front desk would call and walked up and go hey, where are you? What's going on? And then a guy showed up with the phone, no problem, and we ended up taking him out for the for another ride that night. Again, friendly, happy, we wanted to give him a big tip he's, I know he's still wow.

Dan: 6:55

He, yeah, and I was really. I was surprised because I came in with the impression that people in Paris especially, not strip just France, but Paris especially they were snooty. If you don't speak the language they're snooty, and they Certainly Not at all, Not at all. They were all kind and welcoming. A lot of them were immigrants that we were dealing with. They weren't like native Parisians yeah, they were like service workers.

Dan: 7:18

Yeah, but at the same time even the service workers that were, you know, parisians, and the people that we ran into the streets, very kind and friendly, did not need to speak French much at all. We did the Sivu play just to show the respect and say as much as we could and we tried to order in French and things like that, and they appreciated and they were kind and I loved it. The food was not great, interesting and Paris, the main dishes were not good at a lot of the places that we went to. Oh, the pastry. The pastry shops were amazing though. The croissants. I've never had two better croissants than really in Paris, just the buttery and the flakiness and it was like chewy on the inside and like a little bit like crunchy on the outside. It was just done perfectly.

Charles: 8:00

The new Parisian bakery that I tried a couple weeks ago in Winter Garden. It was just like that, where it was super buttery and crispy on the outside and then so soft.

Dan: 8:11

It didn't need anything, but still smothered it with butter and everything else. And so the yeah, the typical like food that we yeah.

Charles: 8:21

For the entrees. What, yeah, like chicken dishes or beef? It was like beef.

Dan: 8:25

Yeah, yep, and it was just, it was okay it didn't blow you away. It didn't blow me away, no, no, definitely have had better food here, yeah, but the pastries man and now, in all fairness, I don't do a lot of pastries here either so there could be some wonderful pastry shops here in Orlando that I'm just not aware of but according to Atmospheric part of having a croissant baguette in Paris is going to feel different.

Dan: 8:47

It was so funny because we'd be like walking somewhere and we'd pass a bakery and she'd be like, oh, we've got to try this, we're going to try this. I'll be like, oh, all right, I'll try something, we'll split something. It was like two or three things. Wow, and I enjoyed it. That wasn't my default, but she just helped me remind myself that we're not here very often. We're not going to be here for a long time again. Let's take advantage of it. Let's really dive into your experience. The vacation and every calorie was absolutely worth it. So, yeah, I enjoyed it. Yeah, okay, so we were there. We ran into a Palestinian protest actually, so there's a big church mart on and on the top of a hill.

Charles: 9:41

beautiful, burn off one donut.

Dan: 9:44

Who's doing math? On the way on the walk up there, we went to a huge Palestinian protest and apparently I didn't realize that the French are known for protesting. That's their thing. That's the recurring joke over there is what do Parisians do, or what do French do as a hobby? They protest. Yeah, the French Revolution, and they came over and helped us with our own revolution Great at winning wars.

Charles: 10:04

Then yeah, yeah, yeah, and we were too fast.

Dan: 10:07

So fortunately it was friendly. We didn't run into any issues there. And then the last day we were there last night we were there I arranged for us to go to a French chef's house called from eatwithcom, oh. And so you go to eatwith and you can find in any city local chefs that basically host dinner parties for tourists, and what they do is they try to match you up with other English speakers. Not only do you get the chef's table experience yeah, it's not that expensive, it was under $200 a person for going to this guy's house.

Dan: 10:41

He won Master Chef I guess that's a TV show and he won for his oh my God, the little cookies macaroons. I have some great pictures of that Unbelievable macaroons. So he's actually from Vietnam and came to France and his dinner for the night was a blend of Asian food with fused with French French cuisine and it again, it was good. From a master chef. This stuff was good, it had a lot of flavor, it was unique. For sure Wasn't the best stuff I've ever had Interesting, but the macaroon was probably the one of the best desserts I've ever had and that's what he won master chef with.

Dan: 11:21

I'm not crazy about macaroons, so I don't even I wasn't either dude, If you, but if you go and you get one from like a French pastry shop or whatever, I was lukewarm on macaroons too, until I tried some from over there. Oh, okay, Interesting, there's a difference because it's it's like soft and chewy on the outside and just crispy enough to get that sweet. So I think and those textures I know you like as well, so I think you would definitely enjoy it.

Charles: 11:47

Yeah, I'll be. It'll be interesting to me too, cause I'm going to visit. I'll be in England briefly, probably long enough for one meal, and then Germany, austria, czech Republic and then in Budapest for my last stop. I wonder if I get food there and I'm like this isn't as good as the German food in Epcot.

Dan: 12:08

That'll be interesting If possible. It's absolutely possible, especially if you go to one of these. We did go to a couple of high-traffic tourist restaurants that regularly serve tourists and I felt like the quality of the food kind of reflected that, versus going to a local place. That-.

Charles: 12:25

You think it doesn't feel like they were trying to turn over tables quicker that you think. Does it feel like?

Dan: 12:28

they were trying to turn over tables quicker. Okay, a little bit. And one of the places in Paris that we did where we got a like a bouillon kind of thing, yeah, and that's where I wasn't really that impressed with the food. Yeah, paris was great. From there we went to the Eiffel Tower, of course. Did you go to the top? No, didn't really need to go to the top, we went to the second floor.

Charles: 12:46

Yeah, is that where the restaurant is?

Dan: 12:48

Yes, yeah, yep, there might be a restaurant. There was a macaroon shop on the second floor.

Charles: 12:54

The one in Vegas, the restaurant, the fake Eiffel Tower in Vegas. The restaurant's not all the way at the top, it's about a third of the way up is where they have the restaurant.

Dan: 13:02

Yeah, we didn't go all the way up there, but we did a little tour where you got a boat along the Seine River there and then it dropped you off at the Eiffel Tower and then you go up and they did the whole thing. But watching it light up at night was amazing. And there's basically a road that goes like a highway almost, that goes right down to the middle of the eiffel tower and and people stand on the double yellow lines and to take the pictures and cars are still going back and forth, whatever, and I don't know. Something got in me and I'm like, let's go, let's do it. There's a couple people were already on there. I wasn't like the first, I didn't break the ice, but there were a couple people already on the double yellow lines as cars were going back and forth and I'm like and Anna told me about, that's a famous picture, come on, let's just go, let's. And so we got a couple of great pictures in front of the Eiffel tower.

Dan: 13:55

That was nice, we, we, I gave the cabbie, so we were running a little bit tight. We were trying to squeeze five pounds of crap into a one pound bag. You try to do all these things and the we missed the boat tour for the Eiffel tower tour. So it was a boat and then Eiffel tower tour. We missed the boat tour because I didn't really speak French and the Polish guy who was taxi driver didn't really speak English or French, and so there's a little miscommunication and it was one of these guys who's like on a bike and then you've got like a cart behind and we just thought it'd be fun to do and it was one of these guys who's like on a bike and then you've got like a cart behind and we started to be it'd be fun to do and it was available and it was right there.

Dan: 14:35

And this poor guy I'm not a small guy this poor guy was going up this must've been a 45 degree hill for a mile and he was working. He's like taking the jacket off, sweating, and he's working and working. I have a video of that. And I we ended up in a spot was nowhere near the boat, so we completely missed the whole tour trying to get in touch with the tour guides. And this is something that I appreciated about my girlfriend was she was so aggressive with we're still going to get the. We're going to get on that boat. We're going to. We're going to find it somehow. We're going to find that tour guide. We're going to get our money back. We're going to get on that boat. We're going to. We're going to find it somehow. We're going to find that tour guide. We're going to get our money back. We're going to go up to the Eiffel tower. We're going to meet the tour guide for that, whatever.

Dan: 15:13

And she was very persistent, Like she was calling them you appreciate it and I absolutely appreciate it because I'd be like, ah, fuck it, yeah, call and she would do it herself. So she called the tour guide and she was trying to arrange and she managed to find the tour guide that was going to meet us to take us up to the Eiffel Tower. After we missed the whole boat thing and I definitely appreciated the tour for the Eiffel Tower and we would have missed the whole thing we probably wouldn't have been able to go up to the second floor, because if you don't reserve that in advance, a lot of times there's a long wait. So I appreciated that I saw her.

Dan: 15:53

I'm not going to let this go. I'm not gonna just brush it aside type of thing. I'm gonna try to get the most out of this experience, even though it was my mess up, because I I basically told the guy to go the wrong spot. That's something that I definitely appreciated about her. Now that he's into the love languages there a little bit, but like acts of service is for me that's a big one.

Charles: 16:14

So yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that in the next episode too, cause I re-listened to our episode that we released about. It was the one after you took the online, the full on eye assessment, which I've done I finally got around to doing now. And yeah, we'll talk about your acts of service and why.

Dan: 16:32

I don't think that's your love language. Yeah, oh, I gotta retake the quiz. We'll talk about it in the next one. You think it's words of affirmation.

Charles: 16:39

I don't know what it is. But I don't know what it is. But your justification and how you arriveiennese acts of service, I'd like to explore with you a little bit. Yeah, okay, so we'll get into that. Okay. So then you, after you're done with Paris, is that when you went to Vienna, or was it somewhere else in between?

Dan: 16:54

Flew to Munich because my family lives a little bit south of there, near Salzburg, right by down the German side, so they came picked us up Again. Weather was not good it was. It was cold and rainy the whole time, so we wore like our gym clothes the entire time. We packed all this stylish stuff for Paris that I never got to wear and yeah, so it was nice. I got to see my cousin, my aunt and my uncle I hadn't seen them in years, got to get to know their kids a little bit, went to a local Porsche museum and saw the brother of the original owner of Porsche was a huge train guy and so like model trains and he had rooms, the rooms of these model trains basically an unlimited budget. Could you imagine like the train sets you can build? I have some videos. It's unbelievable. I've got like a mountain range. The rooms are like the size of filled with trains and little guys, little towns and everything, and they simulated nighttime and daylight, with the sun coming up and then. So, between the technology that we have today and the trains, it was beautiful, it was amazing.

Dan: 17:57

And the other thing, there's not a lot to do with the base of the Alps there, so they're known for their salt mines and so they basically mine salt out of the Alps and there's a whole tourist thing where you get dressed up like one of the Alps and there's a whole. There's a whole tourist thing where you get dressed up like one of the old, old school salt miners from like the 1800s and you ride a little, almost you ride the train that takes you into the salt mine, and then there's, there's a boat that you take, there's like a salt lake that you go over in the mine. It's fascinating, it's really interesting and it was good. You have the different tours in different languages, you wear a little thing and so, as the guy's explaining in German, we're here in English. Yeah, brought some gin and some salt back from, from Salzburg. That's the name of the, the name of the area there. Does the?

Charles: 18:41

salt taste any different, or is it just it's all salt.

Dan: 18:43

It's pretty much the same. You might be able to tell the difference. I don't have that sense of the palate to do that, but it's delicious and they combine it with all different types of herbs and spices and things like that. So some of the salt they will specifically make for blending into like butter, so the garlic and onion with the salt, and you can melt the butter and you put the spices in there and then you let it cool again and then. So now you've got built-in herb butter type of thing. Nice, yeah, so it was good. We went to Salzburg, saw some castles and some palaces there, a lot of gardens, ate a lot of food, had some schnitzel and some hurdles and dumplings.

Charles: 19:22

Yeah, it was good. Nice, and then Vienna was next after that.

Dan: 19:26

We took a train to Vienna and that day or that night we had a Nickelback concert in the Stadthall in Vienna and that just happened to work out. We were going to be there and they put on an amazing show, so many songs that you don't realize are Nickelback, and they're really good and they engage with the audience, they explain their songs One of the best performances and best interactions with the crowd I've seen from any performer. Okay, yeah, so that was, and that was a lot of fun. The next day we did the whole tourist thing and went to the Schönbrunn Palace and went to a lot of different spots in downtown Vienna. Was the weather better in Vienna? It was much better. Okay, I managed to eat at the same hot dog stand Luciano Pavarotti used to eat after he would perform at the Vienna Opera.

Charles: 20:14

House. He looked like a man who liked his hot dog.

Dan: 20:17

Oh yeah, they said two or three. He'd sit there and polish those off and those were not small. And you know, with the bread they're not part. No, no, no, no, they're at least foot longs, you know almost. They were saying that one of the opera performances. They were saying when a singer sings, he burns 5,000, 6,000 calories in one evening. Really, yeah, just from sleep, I think. They also wear a lot of clothing, they do. They're sweating and they've got the lights on them and you're exerting yourself with some of those voices. It's unbelievable.

Dan: 20:54

One of the things I mentioned to you too, was they have this thing called the soccer tort. It's just a chocolate cake and it's made from a famous hotel in downtown Vienna and, again, underwhelming, it's just been marketed really well and they have it at the original hotel, or no? We did not. So we made reservations to go to the original hotel. We talked to the tour guide and he's like it's not going to be any different than any of the other places. They all have them. They all have the soccer pork with a round of three, all the same recipe and it's all the same thing and it's all not great. And truth is, yeah, it's just dry and you're going to need some sauce with it or some milk with it, because it's just really dry and yeah, and it was like we had it. We got the small piece, but then we also had one that was like a carrot cake infused with green cheese Unbelievable.

Dan: 21:30

Everything else. All the other desserts were fantastic in Vienna. I'll probably try it, you feel, and you feel like that's exactly why we did it. We're here, people are talking about it, but we agreed with them Like, yeah, all right, Just get something else with it. Yeah.

Charles: 21:49

One of the places I walked by on my many walks in omaha when I went there was the hotel where they supposedly invented the reuben sandwich. Oh, all right if they had a reuben, so I didn't bother. Oh I love, I don't like really. Yeah, that's the one with the sauerkraut and the russian dressing we had.

Dan: 21:59

This was cheese sauerkraut, okay yeah, that effect all right, yeah. Yeah, the coffees were amazing. Like I was mentioning, they're a little bit strong.

Charles: 22:07

There's a lot of of dark roasts in Europe, very dark roast. I'm more of a mild roast guy but I'll I may. You said you got flat whites. Flat whites were. I may have to lighten up the dark roast and the French roast or the Italian roast with a little bit of cream or something.

Dan: 22:20

Yeah, anna got cappuccinos. They were delicious, not too fluffy or sweet, gotcha sweet, they were great. Then from there we flew to Yerevan, to Armenia.

Charles: 22:29

Excuse me, and how long did you spend in Armenia? About 11 days, okay, and yeah, I have no concept of what Armenia is either. Is it like a European country? Is it like a Middle Eastern country? Is it like a Mediterranean country? What's it?

Dan: 22:41

like. What is it All of them together? Yes, basically it's an unbelievable fusion of culture, from India like an Arabic country, india, asia, a little bit of a lot of a Russian influence, and also Eastern and Western European, and between the food and the music. That's where you see all of those things blend together and it's some of the best of all of them together. And the food was amazing. Didn't need to season anything. Everything that came out of the kitchen a lot of meat dishes. The best food you had on the trip was Armenia. Didn't need to season anything. Everything that came out of the kitchen a lot of meat dishes.

Charles: 23:15

The best food you had on the trip was armenia yeah, okay, yeah, definitely all right, a hundred percent, without a doubt. Wow, they had. Is that biased? Because your girlfriend's armenian?

Dan: 23:19

nope, it really isn't the different for the varieties of food, the way things were seasoned. And what's nice is a lot of times when you go out to dinner, everything's family style, and so you get platters of, you get platters of Fry everything. You get pickled vegetables and then you get steamed vegetables, and then you've got meats, and then you've got dumplings, and then you've got soup, and then, yeah, you can try a little bit of everything and I love that for the whole of yes, I bet. And what's nice is the waiters actually go to school to become waiters, so they are professionals and they're not waiting on some other career to take on. No, not even. And it's funny because they'll bring you out a bottle of water or seltzer, whatever it is. And if I insulted a waiter by actually serving myself and pouring it for myself and I didn't realize that they come over and they are very attentive, for usually, for the most part, and you've, you've got three or four and they're all like handling each other's tables and it's done really well.

Charles: 24:12

How many people did you eat with? So, it was just my girlfriend, oh just two of you.

Dan: 24:18

Yeah, yeah, I got it, but I mean it's in a room full of, it's a huge restaurant. Most of these restaurants have shows where you pay a small fee, like maybe three or $4, to sit in an area where you can see the show, and the show absolutely worth it. I have a talent. They do this. There's like fire breathers and in an acrobats and singers and musicians and they're playing famous stuff from the U S, local traditional Armenian songs and the talent is unbelievable and you pay like $3 to see and the show is two or three hours long and there's like different performers come and sometimes the band and then it's acrobatics and it's very common for them at most places to do this, like on the weekends, and it's a whole ordeal. It's not like you go and you grab something to eat and you're done in a half hour at a restaurant in the middle of the world and it's a whole ordeal. It's not like you go and you grab something to eat and you're done in a half hour at a restaurant. That's common here kind of thing. It's. You're going out for the night. You're at that place, usually for three or four hours.

Dan: 25:16

Was it too loud to have a conversation while it was going on. No, it wasn't. They have it figured out. At least in Yerevan, the capital city, that's where we were All the cafes were like that beautiful blend of modern, classy decor in the woods so a lot of loose tones, but very modern, a lot of glass, a lot of Edison lights, like nice, warm, homey type of feel, and you're like in the woods, surrounded by trees and bushes and flowers, and then you're getting this great service and this great food and really talk about the atmosphere really.

Dan: 25:49

But I definitely I got to go back again, yeah, yeah, yeah. The other thing that was really impressive was that a lot of times these cafes are right next to each other and then they've got a communal playground area next to these cafes where parents can drop their kids off, and they've got workers from people who are employed by these cafes to watch your kids. They go and play. You can go and have your coffee, your ice cream, your drinks, and not worry about your kids being bored sitting there watching you drink, and you don't have to worry about them causing a ruckus or whatever. And so it's just I feel like when you go to these restaurants and cafes and you see the way the services, the food is like they haven't figured out. I feel like a lot of times, when we go out and do things, there's always something, almost always there's yeah, it was a good time, but there's one. There's always like one thing where you're like, yeah, this wasn't that great or this was annoying or whatever you know, and, um, that didn't happen.

Charles: 26:47

It didn't happen over there yeah and I wasn't drunk the whole time either yeah, I remember last time we went to the crepe restaurant where they just completely forgot the dessert crepe that we ordered. We had to ask a second time and yeah, like, something like that does a little. Something like that always seems to go a little bit amiss when you eat out. Which is not a big deal it's nothing that I would knock a star off the place for, but but it is.

Dan: 27:07

But it's just you get used to that right, exactly, yeah, and that's just not the case over there and if there is a mistake they go above and beyond to overcorrect for it, because it's very important to them for that hospitality. And that was the other thing that the people were unbelievably kind to the complete strangers on the street. If you looked a couple couple times we were looking a little bit confused, trying to find something. Complete strangers would come up and say, hey, do you need some help? And in Armenian, and took their time to, and it was like five or 10 minutes. It wasn't like oh yeah, it's around the corner, kind of directions, type of thing.

Charles: 27:40

Wow, I would Just with my experience in. It was unusual I went to New York so frequently I was like I would not. I feel weird if somebody like started.

Dan: 27:49

I did too. Right, I'll figure it out. Why are you talking to me? But that's just the thing. But as I watched my girlfriend communicate with other people, she would openly ask complete strangers a lot of specific details that were not a quick answer, and I was one of those where I had a flashback of being a kid and my mom starting a conversation with one of the cashiers. I'm like, mom, what are you doing? You're bothering this person. Turns out they like talking.

Dan: 28:15

It was like a public's cashier that we run into. They're always asking you about your day and what are you up to and stuff like that, and sometimes it's a little bit weird because it's a little bit too much. It's just part of the culture and that's just part of how they all want to be helpful and they're all kind. They have this gruff exterior, but once you ask them questions, they come around and they're it's incredible. And she's her apartment's in a really nice location. It's right down the street from where the president lives, actually, yeah, and so there were protests. We're in Armenia against their old government, basically, and they like blocked off the roads and stuff, and it is like a big city too, and and they like blocked off the roads and stuff, and it is like a big city too, and so you need a cab to get anywhere and the lines of the road are really a suggestion. They're not really. It's really the wild west when it comes to driving. It's a little bit. You guys rent a car.

Charles: 28:58

No no.

Dan: 28:59

But it was intimidating enough to just sit in the back seat of a cab and watching them do what they do.

Charles: 29:04

Yeah, I could. Yeah, renting a car for a country does not appeal to me. I would much rather take mass transit or let's say, take Ubers and stuff.

Dan: 29:12

It was really impressive to see a lot of the old Soviet era buildings were still around and they were slowly transitioning and they're slowly getting rid of a lot of the monuments, statues and a lot of the soviet names because russia has not been supporting them as much as they've been promising. So, okay, recently armenia lost a lot of land to azerbaijan. They came in, they took it. They're getting all their arms from turkey. Those are both muslim countries. Armenia is a christian country, the only one in the area, so they're getting squeezed out. Russia has promised and, and armenia was paying russia a fee for protection russia didn't do anything like that.

Dan: 29:54

Yeah, like like the dry cleaner paying the the mob to yeah, but the mob didn't show up and so, yeah, a whole bunch of people.

Dan: 30:01

So there have been a lot of uh, genocide in armenia and it's really sad. Um, you know hearing some of that and there, you know, there's a lot of, and there's a lot in Armenia, where they were. Basically they incorporate a lot of culture from Russia, the language and the leaders and the people and stuff, and they've just really been let down because they've not held up their end of the bargain. So they're slowly moving away and again, when there wasn't a lot of money and they were poor, these buildings were built, and so these were not high quality buildings anyway, but what's amazing is they're replacing with absolutely beautiful, breathtaking stuff. A lot of it looks like it's from Western Europe. It's like beautiful and yeah, but everybody was just super kind. And it's very centered around food too. Every time you go to somebody's house, you bring food and they've got food there, and so now you're eating and you're drinking for hours, and then that's just right, before you go eat and drink somewhere else.

Charles: 30:57

I really enjoyed it. What were the people in Vienna like? Were they very friendly there too, because I hear they're a little on the cold side Not that I have a reputation of being rude like some of the people that they talk about in france. Yeah, kind of like yeah, quick side.

Dan: 31:09

We got to remember they're german or there's a lot of german culture there, and so that's yeah, I've heard they're like german and then some yeah, and my experience I'll get a stereotype is the germans.

Dan: 31:18

They are very warm and kind and friendly. Once they open up to you, initially they've got that gruff exterior and I like. But my family is definitely the same way that once they get to know you they will bend over backwards and they're just loving and kind. Did not run into a lot. We were only in Vienna like a day and a half. Okay, I can't really give you a good answer on that. What a typical person is a Viennese person, how they treat people.

Dan: 31:45

But the tour guide was obviously he was very kind, he was from Austria and they are. He mentioned on the tour that they are really just now, over the last couple of years, admitting their role in World War II and how involved they were. And they were in denial right afterwards when everything was, when Germany was getting in a lot of trouble afterwards and stuff like that with the trials and stuff. Andria was like deny, deny, deny, but meanwhile they were very supportive of the whole nazi movement, you know. So they're finally, and hitler was austrian, right, he was yeah, yeah, yeah, and he had a lot of. He, yeah, threw a lot of the the history there and just that it's hard for them, but they're finally like admitting and admitting to their role and stuff like that, and I don't think there's really as many consequences now.

Charles: 32:32

So easier to talk about that Exactly, yeah, interesting. I wonder if I'll get to hear some of that on the tour. I'm going on, probably, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure that the yeah, all right, I'm glad. Glad you got back safely, had a little bit of a little bit of cold, a little bit of jet lag, right I did.

Dan: 32:47

And then for valentine's day my girl got me tickets to blink 182 concert in orlando, and that was on the 21st. It was like a couple days after we got back. It was a little bit tough. I was already starting to get sick at that point. We spent 48 hours without sleeping trying to clean the apartment and get everything ready for her renter for the next year, and then we had 24 hours of traveling with layovers and everything else. Yeah, didn't sleep well, got cut. Came home, got some strep throat, sucked it up, went to the blink 182 concert and it was good it wasn't great it was there.

Dan: 33:21

It was like four or five songs that everybody knows.

Charles: 33:23

And then that's a two cover shows. The cover shows no, they were worse, they were terrible.

Dan: 33:28

They were terrible like, even like the famous songs. Yeah, they couldn't pull off. Yeah, that was just the nature.

Charles: 33:35

Yeah, brian the lead singer is brian, right? I'm not sure, is it brian or todd? I forget what the lead singer's name is, but he's got a very distinctive voice.

Dan: 33:43

Yes, I would think that it wasn't, it was the music, it wasn't the voice. Like they were actually able to pull off the voice in the cover band. Oh yeah, yeah the instruments. But Travis Barker is unbelievable drummer. I had no idea watching him go Like. He went for like almost two hours straight and it was just like he was drenched in sweat. But yeah, he, he was unbelievable.

Charles: 34:06

No wonder he's married to Kardashians, oh yeah, yeah, that's right. He's married to a who's also Armenian, so they should, yeah, yeah yeah, oh.

Dan: 34:13

So apparently there was a big what's his face? Kanye was in Armenia when he was with Kim and he had a concert in this, like over this lake or whatever, okay, and it was like a last minute announcement and all the the in the middle of Yerevan and I, the way she made it sound, the videos I saw it looked like there's this monster lake, lake Monroe, here. It was like a small little pond. I couldn't, might have been able to get, I don't know 2,000 people around this whole little area, whatever. And yeah, kanye was, apparently he got crazy, he jumped in the lake. So that why? That's why it was so crazy. But a system of a down didn't realize they were Armenian as well. They're unbelievably tight. They're Albanian for some reason. They're Armenian, they're Armenian, oh, okay, yeah. So they go nuts for that music.

Charles: 34:57

Yeah.

Dan: 34:58

And I was asking, like when the Kardashians come to Armenia, like how? And they said she's, they're very generous and they do a lot of like charity work and things like that, which is nice because Armenia needs some help. They're just because people are just taking their land and nothing's really being done. America doesn't want to do anything because we have our bases in Turkey, and Turkey is the one who is giving all the arms to Azerbaijan, who are then taking the land, and then Russia, just they don't want to see, they're busy. They got their own shit to take care of, right, so they're. And the thing is they don't want to like a lot of natural resources in Armenia, so it's not like really something people want to protect. So it's just more of, I think, a religious type of and cultural type of encroachment, unfortunately. Yeah, if you ever and I bought the candies Great, there's some of the chocolate candy. You need to try some of that.

Charles: 35:46

Yeah, I got fat on that for sure, next time I've got a, I'm at your place and I'm going to be driving directly home. I will definitely get some of that candy with me.

Dan: 35:53

Let it go to room temperature, otherwise you're not going to get the full. Yeah, some. I tried a special. I tried to pick out some of the peanut butter ones for you and there's one. It's like that fleek. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charles: 36:10

So I picked a couple of those for you. I'll look forward to that. Oh, let's see. So I didn't have much going on while you were gone. Nothing other too exciting I did, I guess. A week and a half, two weeks ago, I got my haircut and I broke my unbreakable rule where I went to a sport clips and I took next available, and that was a young man. And what do I say about getting your hair cut by a young man? You better like his style. You better like his style because, regardless of what you ask for, he's going to give you what he wants to give you and pete rose, he went.

Dan: 36:38

You remember that there was a comedian back in the 80s that would basically make fun of. It's like the dorothy there's a reference to that in 30 rock yeah, yeah, it was a comedian who kept making fun of, yeah, a person, a barber, and all he knew how to do was, oh, sing at all Asian people. That's what it was. That's right, yeah, do you think they come in as the only thing that Pete Rose?

Charles: 37:02

Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, yeah, this, I told this guy what I wanted and even though I when was, yeah, this, I told this guy what I wanted. And even though I where was, the sport clips was this down in bradenton, bradenton, yeah, where I'm gonna be moving? Okay, so I will just never go back to that location again because I don't want to risk. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to go there and not choose him so was there an emergency?

Dan: 37:20

why did you get next available? Why did you go to a sport clips? You've got your regular.

Charles: 37:26

I had a meeting afterward that I was going to go to, and so I needed to squeeze in a haircut, then dinner, then a meeting, and so I was like, yeah, and everybody else had a long. There was a long wait time except for first available with zero minutes. So I was like, okay, here I am. So see, when I got, yeah, going to a young guy for a haircut is fine. If you're of the opinion of, hey, whatever the cool trend is, whatever's popular, whatever, I trust that he'll know what should be done with my hair more than I do, then by all means go to a young man. But if you have a specific idea of what you want in your haircut, you go to a woman or you go to an older guy. Those are your two choices.

Dan: 38:03

Have you had a cut since then?

Charles: 38:04

No, not yet. Then, no, not yet. It doesn't look terrible. It doesn't look terrible, but he definitely he went. I've been wearing it for the last couple of months where I like a contrast where the top is a little longer. And yeah, it's all one, it's all. It all looks like he used a one and a half on the whole hair.

Charles: 38:20

Yeah, exactly yeah yeah, he did not, did not follow my instruction at all, so it'll grow out. It'll look like it normally does in a couple more weeks, but yeah, let's see what else is going on. Oh, you and me are all booked for Tony Robbins in November, which I'm excited. Yeah, going up to New Jersey Not quite as excited about that part of it, but yeah, he didn't have one available for our budgets in Fiji, so Newark, it is Maybe Fiji's next.

Charles: 38:51

Oh you, you texted me the, the hotel. I think you said it was like 972 for is that each of our halves or is that? No, it's a little thing. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I thought I wouldn't do that. I thought Homewood Suites for a thousand bucks a piece, that's good. So it's all with tax. Four or five nights, right, five, five nights, right, five, five nights. Yeah, yeah, I got the 13th through the 18th and we're at the. We're near the airport, right? Yes, is that what's the? Do we uber to down, down or is it? We're gonna public transport? Good, I think we have to uber yeah, I think it's.

Dan: 39:19

I think it's like what?

Charles: 39:20

11, 12 minutes, that's not too bad. Yeah, I had this allergy season. Right now is killing me. I I was at one of my clients and I was sniffling and sneezing and the receptionist was like here, take a 24 hour Claritin. And it fixed me up immediately. So the whole time I've been telling myself I should really stop by Walgreens or CVS and get some Claritin. I just haven't. I got some Zyrtec. If you want to try that, I tried Zyrtec, I tried Claritin and I tried what's the other.

Charles: 39:43

There's another 24 hour and I another 24 hour and I've tried all three of them within the last week, and it is Claritin that really seems to do it for me, so I will. Yeah, I don't want to sniffle the whole way all day tomorrow while we're moving. I don't want to be sniffling. I will definitely buy some Claritin on the way down, because I don't know what's in season or in bloom right now, but whatever, it is killing me.

Dan: 40:04

Have you ever messed around with a neti pot?

Charles: 40:07

No, aaron, my ex-wife did, and I can't do it. Just watching the process I was like that is not something I can do. Yeah, okay, I don't have it in me.

Dan: 40:15

It does definitely helps for a couple of hours afterwards because the salt just cleans everything. Once you do it a couple of times, it's not that big of a deal, but it really helped when sick like last week.

Charles: 40:28

It's just one of those things in concept, that was the way I used to feel about injecting myself before I got on TRT. I was like, ooh, I could never do that. And then I was like, okay, yeah, it's not that bad. Yeah, the advantages outweigh my discomfort, so I'm going to try it, but I'm not there with a neti pot yet. Yeah, it definitely sniffling and everything else like that, and and the, the runny nose and stuff that dries things out a little bit naturally, and it's, yeah, that does sound nice. Yeah, but yeah, I can do it all. Right, let's see what else is going on. Oh, one of the things I did want to talk about is a subkaizonda. The internet came up with a response to the man versus bear thing oh yeah more new responses.

Charles: 41:06

okay, yeah, the new response was would you rather share your feelings with a woman or a tree and they use the same, and then, basically, when women would respond to it and say how stupid it was, they would then use the same arguments. See, aha, your very response to this is exactly why I would rather share my feelings with a tree. The way that you're reacting with about this proves me, which is a lot, when a lot of the women were saying, with the way the guys were reacting to the man, uh-huh, uh-huh so they set the bear trap and they walked right into it.

Charles: 41:36

Yeah, a couple notable differences that occurred to me, which is one? The first one was about if you're hiking in the woods and you randomly, beyond your control, run into a or b, what would you rather? Where choosing to share your feelings with a tree or a woman is not the same thing, because it's about a choice that you're making, not about something that randomly happening for a man sharing his feelings it's just about as painful.

Charles: 42:00

And as a woman running into a bear or a woman running into a man okay, all right, I don't want to go there. But, yeah, bump into a bear or a bad guy or just an unknown guy in the woods. If you're a man who's constantly complaining that women are not safe for you to share your feelings with, then stop picking unsafe women and you'll address that issue real fast.

Dan: 42:39

Yeah, I'll be honest with you. I don't think that's the issue that a lot of guys run into as to why they're not sharing their feelings Like I don't have a safe woman. It's just not something that I think a lot of us are common, you know, or used to do it.

Charles: 42:51

Yeah, and so, yeah, you're probably not practiced at it, so when you attempt to do it you probably don't know, correct?

Dan: 42:59

So funny. We're just talking about languages, learning another language.

Dan: 43:01

I feel like and when a guy would try to and I know a perfect example right now is I'm stumbling over my words right you don't know exactly how to express yourself with your feelings and you can feel like coming across like a child or somebody who's just a lot educated than you might be in other areas of your life, and that can make you feel insecure, and then you don't want to share because you don't know how to do it, exactly the right way, right, or sound like you want to.

Charles: 43:28

You don't want to share because you don't know how to do it, exactly the right way, right, or sound like you want to sound yeah, and give the impression you will often come across as either passive or aggressive.

Charles: 43:35

Or passive, aggressive, yeah, like we talked about it a couple an episode a couple weeks ago of the idea when you are trying to give words of affirmation and you're nervous about it, so you hedge it, like if it doesn't go well, you're nervous about it, so you hedge it. Like if it doesn't go well, you can say, oh, I was just kidding, or something like that, it's yeah. When you do that, when you, when you try to hedge your bets and keep yourself safe, it usually comes off cringy. Yeah, you can't pull the punches, yeah, but yeah, I thought that was funny that the guys felt like they had to clap back at the man versus bear thing, which even the fact that it's like oh no, now we have a version of this for ourselves too. Okay, that's. That doesn't feel super masculine to me. The way women responded to this hypothetical hurt my feelings, so now I have to come up with a version that hurts theirs.

Dan: 44:16

So have you seen? On Netflix? They've got I'm a stalker. Have you seen this series? I'm not.

Dan: 44:21

Basically, it's really good in-depth docuseries on people who are stalkers and have been usually arrested for stalking. Do they talk about it? Yeah, and the people are at various. It's interesting because the victims and the perpetrators are all at various stages. So they go through a number of different pairings of stalky type of thing in different situations. And yeah, man, some of this, some of the stuff that these guys like even admit they've got evidence of right Text messages and letters and lists with one woman had made the voodoo doll of this other woman.

Dan: 44:58

And it's not all men stalking women. There are some women stalking women. There's some women stalking men. A lot of a variety, but by far most of the and they run through some statistics but by far it's mostly men stalking women. And yeah, that's.

Dan: 45:11

It totally lines up with why so many women would rather run into a bear than a man. Because just these guys. It's such a I don't want to say it's a slippery slope, but these guys just don't get it funny because that once they did something where it was a little bit over the line, the woman would want to stop talking to them and wouldn't answer their messages anymore, and that's what would drive them nuts. I'm trying to apologize to you and they would be like sending 50 texts a day or stopping by where they work or their school, where they're going to school, whatever, and it's why don't you want to talk to me? I just want to apologize for the thing and it's just.

Dan: 45:48

It's so inconsistent, like their behavior and the attitude that they're coming across and what they're saying. Right, and there's such a misalignment. Now, yeah, all these had these people have had traumas in their own lives. Sure, didn't have normal childhoods growing up and things like that. So not that it's an excuse more of the reason. No, it definitely helps to understand. Just don't understand, like some social cues and things, and it's just, but they would ignore it. What's amazing to me is they all had restraining orders and they all ignored them multiple times.

Dan: 46:20

Yeah, there are some safety and security experts who have really come out to say that getting a restraining order against stalkers is not always the best time sometimes it lit yeah, it lit them up, it made them more, yeah, angry and uh, and, and even some of the people who were in jail for stalking were saying things like I'm not a stalker, that's not who I am. Yeah, and anybody could be a stalker if, given the right circumstances.

Charles: 46:53

And these people need some mental health help? Yeah, I'm sure they do, and not all of them get it, unfortunately. It really all seems to come from the same place, which is a mindset of scarcity, of. I felt something with this person or this woman that felt a little like a connection, and connection so rare in my life. It's, you know, being struck by lightning, and so the fact that it happened once. I can't let go of this person because it's never going to happen again, yeah, and so, yeah, they get this tunnel vision. Yeah, if you go into any relationship and you feel like you know this could be my one chance for love, sex, happiness, happiness, a future, a family, whatever, and then the person's I'm not into this anymore Then the one thing that could possibly change their mind is you being respectful and confident and saying, okay, if you change your mind, let me know, is the one thing they can't do, because now a lot of times.

Dan: 47:42

They haven't seen that, so they haven't seen examples of that confidence, so it's just like that's a foreign concept.

Charles: 47:48

Yeah, yeah, cause I would suspect a lot of the guys that are stalkers are probably raised by single moms and they don't see any healthy romantic relationships. Yeah, a couple of people were already resilient men who were able to deal with rejection and setbacks.

Dan: 48:04

One girl went from foster home to foster home where she was abused. She didn't have a real parent as a role model and, yeah, they just don't have that skill set.

Charles: 48:13

Yeah, I started a new book recently that I'm really getting a lot out of Old Children, of Emotionally Immature Parents, I think I may. It may have been on my radar for a while, but I just started listening to it on Audible. When Audible finally sends me that, hey, you have six credits. You might need to start spending some of these.

Dan: 48:32

Shopping spree.

Charles: 48:34

Yeah, and so I got that one. And yeah, man, when they talk about the characteristics of emotionally immature adults, it's wow. I have a lot of these myself. Not as many as my parents, thank God.

Charles: 48:48

I do have a lot of them myself. Yeah, it's, oh, and here's, and she, she does get a little bit into the and here's how you fix some of this stuff. Yeah, it's a. It's a rough system to live by default where you're just constantly in this reactive mode and not able.

Charles: 49:02

One of the things I found really interesting emotionally immature parents usually do a great job of meeting their kids' physical needs. So they're going to be healthy, they're going to be well-dressed, they're going to be taken care of. But their emotional needs, which are more abstract, are the ones that they can't figure out how to meet those. It's very clear that your kid is well-fed. It's very clear that your kid goes to the doctor when they're sick. It's very clear that your kid shows up to school with clean iron clothing.

Charles: 49:28

But the more sort of abstract stuff of. Does my kid understand that if they're upset and they start crying, I don't need to say stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about. I just let my kid. Like a lot of kids of these immature parents, they never get the chance to understand. Oh, if I'm feeling sad and I cry, eventually I will cry it out and I'll feel better on my own. But if that process constantly gets interrupted by your parents saying, no, these negative, I can't tolerate these negative feelings. You have to stop right now. Then you never get to the end to realize, oh, I can soothe myself, I, if I feel bad for long enough, eventually the feeling bad goes away and now I'm okay again. Yeah, you're taught something different, yeah, so when parents insist on interrupting that process because they're uncomfortable with their kid being sad or upset or whatever, then the kid never develops that skill.

Dan: 50:15

That was my mom's favorite line and because a lot of times I really wasn't crying about something or my sister wasn't crying about something that we needed to cry about, she could tell that it was bull crap. It was like oh, you didn't get, you didn't get your food, or you never really bull crap food because you don't get a dessert that you wanted or you didn't feeling is still real.

Charles: 50:37

You're still expressing something that's inside you. Yeah, but it's. If you're performing, then why do you feel like you need to perform by crying to somebody?

Dan: 50:44

there's something real there there might have been looking back on it. I knew whenever I was given that line it was I was trying to manipulate my mom in some way to get what I wanted. And it wasn't like I was really upset about something and it wasn't my sister wasn't really upset about something, it was just it was like one of those where it's like perpetual whining or whatever, and there might've been a little bit something real there, but for the most part from my memory, from my side of things, it was what? What are all the tools in my limited toolbox to be able to get what I want? I ended up being like from something and it wasn't like I got hurt and I'm like physically hurt and I'm like heaving or whatever. It was like a. It was a mild cry. It wasn't like a.

Charles: 51:29

I really got injured. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I still think there's value in the curiosity of saying okay, so Dan's having a little bit of a meltdown because he didn't get two servings of dessert, why does Dan feel like he needs to try to manipulate me to get a second dessert? Like where what is behind? Dessert like where what is behind. Yeah, that was. Where's this coming from? That would be. Yeah, I think I would say it's easy to do that. No, yeah, as a parent, but yeah, especially when it seems crystal clear that's going on. But to ask the question, okay that I know what this looks like, I know what this feels like, but yeah, because the figure could be pointed.

Dan: 52:02

The fitter could be coming back at the parent going oh, wait, a minute, I've been overindulging all of their their unhealthy food habits and so now they're. Now their expectation is, hey, I'm getting more and more dessert, whatever. Or I'm getting a lot of dessert, I have at every meal, but that's my fault because I let them have that from the very first three weeks or months or whatever. Right, yeah, you know, whatever that is, but yeah, I would say, I think, or not clear communication about what dessert's gonna look like.

Charles: 52:31

That's my fault, I didn't clearly communicate like that, you're not getting three pieces of cake yeah, or sitting down and say hey look, dan, I get why you're obsessed. Sometimes I want three pieces of cake too, but we just don't eat three pieces of cake sometimes I was lucky because I got some of that, too, once in a while.

Dan: 52:49

Yeah, I did get that from both parents, and I do feel lucky because I know that's not common, so I did get a lot of that as well.

Charles: 52:55

Yeah, it's interesting, but I would say yeah, generally, whatever reaction a kid has, there's a reason that they have that reaction and chalking it up to oh, they're a bad kid, or they're a manipulator, or they're whiny or whatever. The yeah, but why? Seems to be the question that healthy people consistently ask.

Dan: 53:14

Yeah, I'm absolutely grateful for my parents because a lot of times whenever there was a big fight or a blowout between my parent and I, the initial we both upset yelling, crying. Whatever I go to my room, be sent to my room, and then usually within a few minutes afterwards they'd come and sit next to me very calmly and explain my logical and say, hey, listen, this is what's appropriate. This is why this happened, and a lot of times they would apologize for using their cool tools and I didn't really appreciate it at the time. I'm looking back now and I absolutely am grateful for it.

Charles: 53:48

Yeah, I think there's a lot of parents that will just never apologize to their kids. I think something about that causes the power dynamic to be compromised in some way that they're not okay with.

Dan: 53:57

But the funny thing is, if anything, I think it gives them more power, because then you respect them and you realize that they are okay. They'll tell you the truth. They'll tell you the truth. They'll tell you the truth and you don't look at them, as I want to say, like a liar, but basically what's completely obvious like they made a mistake here or whatever might be completely obvious to you They'll never admit it. Now I feel like, oh, you have to think I'm perfect but I know you're not.

Dan: 54:21

And so now it's all right. You're almost delusional, and so now I feel like I know I got one over on you, as I see what reality is and you're not living in reality. So now my opinion of you has gone down versus you going hey look, I got a. I've got a good grasp on reality. I'm not living in my own world here, yeah yeah, so it's been a good book so far.

Charles: 54:42

I think I have another four hours, okay, done with it, but I'm really getting a lot out of it, okay, so we've been going at it for an hour, so we'll stop and we'll roll on into chapter seven of the five love languages for men and talk about I think we've covered yeah, we've covered all the individual languages at this point. So now we're going to get into a little of the. How do you figure out what yours is and how do you know that you're right about yours? How do you figure out what yours is and how do you know that you're right about yours? How do you know that you're right about your partners and what do you do about it? Yeah, sounds good. All right, we'll hit that next. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye, wow, you made it through the whole thing, so you must like us at least a little bit, in which case you should definitely follow or subscribe to our show in your chosen podcast app. Thanks, we'll talk to you next.