Be Her Best

In this episode of Mindfully Masculine, Charles and Dan dive into the essentials of intimacy, exploring Chapter 9 of The Man’s Guide to Women. Discover how to foster deeper connections with your partner by challenging common myths, understanding the emotional and physical dynamics that drive intimacy, and addressing the influence of pornography on our expectations. We unpack the importance of communication, emotional connection, and how small shifts in your approach can lead to more fulfilling experiences in and out of the bedroom.

Plus, hear about Dan’s milestone 50th birthday party, and the surprising lessons that came with it. If you’re ready to enhance your relationship, elevate intimacy, and show up as the best partner possible, this episode is for you.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• The disconnect between porn and real intimacy
• Emotional prerequisites for intimacy – how men and women differ
• Practical tips for fostering connection and pleasure
• Why “man up” is never the best advice for intimacy growth

🎧 Tune in now to Mindfully Masculine for insights that could transform your relationship.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Intro
• 1:12 Birthday Party Recap
• 2:51 Diving into Chapter 9
• 3:32 Debunking Porn Myths
• 6:36 Emotional Connection and Prerequisites for Intimacy
• 9:08 Experimenting with (All Kinds of) Abstinence
• 12:00 Addressing the "Man Up" Mentality
• 17:19 The Importance of Oral Sex
• 22:33 Reading Non-Verbal Cues and Foreplay
• 24:07 Cuddling and Post-Sex Connection
• 27:15 Key Takeaways and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Charles: 0:00

Welcome back to the Mindfully Masculine podcast, where we explore the intersection of personal growth, relationships and becoming the best version of yourself, inside and out. I'm Charles, and today we're diving into a topic that can transform the way you show up for your partner, both emotionally and physically. This episode is titled Be Her Best and, as you might guess, we're talking about intimacy, connection and how to bridge the gap between what we think we know and what really matters to the women in our lives. We'll break down the lessons from Chapter 9 of the Man's Guide to Women getting real about the myths that shape our expectations, the dynamics that drive intimacy and how small shifts can lead to deeper, more fulfilling experiences. This isn't about complicated techniques or unrealistic ideals. It's about understanding the fundamentals of connection and making sure you're showing up in a way that makes her feel seen, desired and appreciated. We'll also get into the misconceptions around pornography, how it can skew our understanding of intimacy and why learning to communicate both in and out of the bedroom is one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a partner. So if you're ready to level up your relationship, stick around, let's dive in.

Charles: 1:12

Good morning Charles. How are you? Good morning, dan. I'm doing okay. It's been a busy couple of days, but here we are. You had your makeup birthday party, right?

Dan: 1:23

I had my makeup 50th birthday party.

Dan: 1:25

Yeah, so one of my buddies that I went to kindergarten with and high school with Mike. He came, flew out from California. It was great to be able to hang out with him a little bit. It was a combined party with my girlfriend's daughter and so there was a lot of people there. There was a lot of food there, a lot of interesting decor making fun of me there. That was interesting. Yeah, I'll have to share that with you offline. Here I'll show you some of the decor. It was a great surprise.

Dan: 1:54

Even though I was there helping out a little bit, there was still a lot of the decorations and a lot of things that my girlfriend and her friends did and helped out with and it made it amazing. The food was so good. Everybody asked if it was catered and my girlfriend had cooked it all and had like professional shaving dishes and everything out. I was just really I was honored and impressed at like how much I cheated and how much the people who came did for me and everybody had a really good time and, yeah, I was really flattered and it was great because I got to extend my birthday again. So I had an amazing cruise back in October, an amazing hurricane. That let me extend my cruise by a day. That was amazing. It was amazing. There's no damage here from the hurricane.

Charles: 2:35

I'm going to label that hurricane as not so amazing.

Dan: 2:38

Yeah, it turned out amazing for me because I was able to sell my RV Congratulations At the same point and I was looking to do that as well. So that worked out. So it was. It's been good so far so knock on wood that keeps up.

Charles: 2:51

Let's get into the into chapter nine. Chapter nine is called. I believe it's be her best, let's see. I'm working my way back to the beginning of the chapter here, paging through on my. It's a long chapter. It took me 40 something minutes to listen to it this morning, becoming her best ever, a primer on passionate sex. And we will not be going through all of the how-to's in this chapter. I do recommend that others do check that out. But you and I are going to boil this down to the principles to keep in mind more than the touch, this way type of uh, play-by-play, because, like I said, it is a long chapter. Here are the principles to keep in mind more than the touch, this way type of play-by-play, because, like I said, it is a long chapter. Here are the principles that we see at the end of the chapter in the cheat sheet.

Charles: 3:32

First is forget everything you've learned from watching porn. And I will say don't forget everything you've learned from watching porn, but don't confuse pornographic sex for real sex. I think that's the thing too. Don't set, don't have your expectations for how things go and how things feel. Don't set those based on what you've seen in pornography. There there will be some overlap in the kind of sex that you enjoy and that your partner enjoys with what in pornography. But don't look for it to match up even 50 of the time, because there are going to be listen people who sell pornography, whether that's an independent artist on only fans or a multinational pornography company. They're both looking to sell a product. They're looking to put something out there that the most people will respond to and be willing to pay money for, and so it's not their job to be public sexual intellectuals where their goal is to help people set reasonable expectations or to make people smarter and better at sex. That's not what they're looking to make money doing, so don't expect that's what they're going to offer you.

Dan: 4:46

Yeah, it's not that different than food products that are created, right, it's going to be hyper palatable, hyper sellable. It's going to be very addictive, if you will. Same thing with porn stuff. It's going to be like to the extreme as much as possible that will elicit sales. That's really the undertone here. It's simply, with food products and everything else like that, it's not necessarily the best way about going about eating, it's not the best way about going away, about going for sex, things like that. So it's got this filter and a really strong filter of let's make this sellable and by doing that, sometimes it's going to be addictive in some certain ways, right, so they're going to be trying to do that the whole time. But it can be difficult to distinguish, I think, between what real sex should be like in porn, because how many other examples do we get of real sex? What that half a semester in health class? Right, they don't really go into any of that.

Charles: 5:45

They're certainly not showing us videos or anything.

Dan: 5:48

No, so it's like what, where else are you getting this information from other than, like your buddies or your girlfriends sitting around at brunch, or guys at sitting around a sports bar or in the locker room? Like, where else do we get this information from? I can see why it's such an issue with so many people and how many times we get it wrong and a lot of times why it takes so many years to figure out how to do it in a different way, how to do things in a way where it actually it still feels good and you feel connected and you're not. You know two extremes, and that's the thing too is they also say in this book too is yes, sometimes that's okay, but not right away, and so it's. It can be really confusing unless you're intentionally going out and reading books like this and seeking that information out in terms of best practices. Right.

Charles: 6:36

Yeah, it's, you're absolutely right. It's hard to get people excited to buy things that are not super stimulating, and that applies to cars and pornography and flat screen TVs, all those things. So, yeah, just keep in mind that you are a customer, you're not a student, and that's how you're being viewed by these folks that put out this material A hundred percent. I will get into a little bit about the porn addiction that they mentioned in this chapter. I will go through the list of five things that Gottman mentions as okay. Here are some indications that you might have a problem that you want to look at solving. But if you go down this list and you don't have these problems, then hey, more power to you. Enjoy whatever.

Charles: 7:16

Whatever works for you, keep doing what works and when it doesn't work, stop doing it. That's going to be my attitude with anything as far as drugs, porn, alcohol, whatever vices are out there. Look, if you figure out a way that you can use these and you're not having negative outcomes and everything's great and you find your life is better, then, god bless, keep doing it. If it's getting to the point where you're seeing consequences in other areas of your life that you care about, then you should probably discontinue these things, and that's going to be my attitude. I'm a moderate guy politically, and I'm also a moderate guy when it comes to telling other people what they should or shouldn't be doing.

Dan: 7:51

My approach has been taking a break from things like alcohol, masturbating, porn, things like that for a certain period of time a week or two, whatever. That is monitoring how things go for me. I'm just trying to remember, hey, I'm in the middle of not doing X or whatever that is, and just seeing hey, do I have a little bit more energy? Am I a little bit more focused? Am I performing better in one area or another? How is this affecting me?

Dan: 8:16

And then it helps me gauge what it actually is doing when I am regularly drinking or regularly masturbating whatever that is because a lot of times I think we can fall into this is just how I feel and not realize the benefits that we can get from taking a break or not doing it at all. I'm staining the word I was looking for, yeah, so I like to, and I'll do it with caffeine as well, and I'll just go like a week or two and just see, hey, how are things going, and that just gives me a little bit of a taste of is this something I want to keep in my life? And or maybe it's something I want to keep, but maybe scale back a little bit, maybe not do quite as much as I was doing before, because I'm feeling so amazing, or I'm feeling I had all these great outcomes because I took this while I was not doing these things. Yeah, could be a little placebo effect possibly a little bit, but who cares.

Charles: 9:08

Yeah, yeah, no, I look, almost three years ago you and I did a dry January to see what what would be like. And I haven't had alcohol since. And I think one of the ways that is one of the reasons that's working for me is because when we went into it initially we just were doing it as an experiment. Not, there was nothing. Neither of us had the attitude of alcohol bad me need to stop alcohol. It was just like, hey, this is something people do. They give up drinking for January, let's do it too and see what it's like. And we went on February 1st, I think you and I went out February 1st or close to February 1st and we were going to have a drink to celebrate dry January being over and you were like, yeah, I'll take a drink. And you had it.

Charles: 9:48

And I was like, on second thought, I don't think I want to and I feel like, whether it's porn, masturbation, weed alcohol, whatever it is, if you can go into it with a mindset of I'm going to try this experiment and see what it's like, to give it up for a little bit and then you don't tie any kind of morality to it, I'll be a better person if I don't do this, and I'll be a bad person if I do. If you can just completely eliminate it, it makes it so much easier to just do it and try and observe yourself than if you tie a bunch of moral value to this activity. And so that's where I try to say look, if you've got concerns about your pornography consumption and here are the concerns that he mentions One, you're becoming antisocial. Two, you're keeping your porn watching secret. I think that really mostly applies to if you've got a partner. You shouldn't be telling the people you work with about your porn watching. But if you've got a partner and you're keeping it a secret from them, then that might be a problem.

Charles: 10:48

If you lose track of time while watching porn, like, oh my gosh, five hours just flew by, yeah, that might be an issue. Porn is interfering with your sex life. Or you start thinking sex should be like porn and sex that's not like porn. There's something wrong with it. If you've got those five things bouncing around your head, then it may be high to say okay, I should probably. I should at least see if I'm able to take a break from this. And if you find I can't take a break from this, then that's another indicator that you might have a an issue that you need to deal with yeah, no, those are good things to look at for sure all right.

Charles: 11:23

So then he goes into a little bit more detail on how porn sex is different from quote unquote real sex, and I think that's valuable to get into. The one thing that I really like about this chapter is he does take on the myth that men like sex more than women and behave differently when it comes to sex than women do. And again, we're talking about averages. You can't say anything is always true or always false, black and white style. But I like the way that he basically says men have fewer prerequisites to sex than women do, and I think that's a great way to put it.

Charles: 12:00

Where there's less that has to fall into place for a man to be ready and willing to have sex than for a woman, and that could be with partner selection, that could be with how the day or the week has been going for you in other areas. With men it's yeah, I could be having a pretty rough day, I could be having some personal or professional turmoil, but in many cases that won't get in the way of me wanting to have sex. Where, with women, some of those things could have a bigger impact and if those prerequisites are not being met for them the things that they require, then it's going to be difficult for them to get into a state of desire where they want to have sex. But I would say that that doesn't mean that when we actually do have, when we as men and women do have sex, that they enjoy it any less or it feels less good to them.

Dan: 12:53

What helped me cut through a lot of the fluff was when he had said men and women both need emotional connection, but they get it in different times. So in order for a woman to have sex, they need to feel emotionally connected first. And a man feels emotionally connected after he has sex with a woman and by and large obviously there's exceptions, but that's typically the way it works and that shows that there's a lot less that needs to come before the man. No pun intended there for prerequisite for sex versus a woman, so that emotional connection. That doesn't happen in an instant, so it's not like a light switch, so that has to be there, which is what he's alluding to with this prerequisite having to be there before sex.

Charles: 13:38

Yeah, and we've talked about that dynamic before of the average woman needing emotional connection come before sex and men needing the sex to come before the emotional connection. That dynamic could definitely lead to some frustrating outcomes when it comes to things like the dead bedroom situation, where it's okay the guy is not getting the sex, so he doesn't feel emotionally connected. The woman's not getting the emotional connection, so she doesn't feel like the sex. And so, as a result, you get into these negative feedback loops where your relationship just keeps getting worse and worse because nobody is willing to say, okay, I'm going to meet my partner's needs, even though I feel like my needs aren't going to, my needs aren't being met. And no, it's like a game of sexual chicken where nobody wants to be the first one to invest in the relationship, feeling like they're not going to get anything in return. And so if both people are, you know, too preoccupied with protecting themselves, then things just aren't going to change and that pattern is not going to be broken sex from masturbating and the orgasm you have for masturbating.

Dan: 14:46

When he was talking about how it takes men and women both the same amount of time about 10 minutes to come from masturbating and that's different. That's more of a physiological type of release in both cases. So it's not that a woman doesn't need to feel necessarily connected to somebody in order to masturbate in the same thing obviously with a guy. I think he was using that in the context of don't, as a man, don't think you need to spend hours and hours with foreplay in order for a woman to enjoy sex with you. It she can enjoy it. If you are doing things the right way, you're feeling more connected.

Dan: 15:24

If you're looking at a pure physical, biological point of view, it takes both men women the same amount of time to to come from sex, so to come from masturbating. So it really is. It's not like they physiologically need this emotional connection in order to come. That that connection, that that world, that safety, that all needs to be there beforehand. Obviously, and knowing that I feel like you can be a little bit as a guy, you can be a little bit more patient and a little bit more open to investing in foreplay, which literally can start earlier in the day. It doesn't close on.

Charles: 16:00

It's the little flirty comments you can make, that how you appreciate her and communicating that with her, and that all starts to build build up that, those good feelings, that connection yes, I agree with all that and thinking about it as an all day or even an all relationship process, not just a talks about how, you know, men can get into this routine of kiss the lips, touch the breast right, maybe make an attempt at finding the clitoris and touching it and then inserting the penis and that's just just the script. And you got to be ready to break that script sometimes and mix things up and do the unexpected so that you can keep things exciting. Because one of the things we talk about on this podcast all the time with relationships is it is the man's job, at least the way we see it, to find a balance between security, safety and excitement. And spontaneity in the bedroom is going to be part of that excitement of not just turning it into a routine where she can set her watch by how long you're going to spend doing this thing before you start doing this other thing. He does say and this is where I've got some disagreement with Dr Gottman in the way that he's chosen to express this Oral sex is a must for pleasing and satisfying a woman.

Charles: 17:19

We'll start there. I've been with women who were not all that into oral sex. Now, was that because I'm terrible at it. Possibly, but I don't think so. They've stated to me both in our relationship and in previous relationships, like no, I'm just more into some other things than I am into that, and I enjoy some other things more than I enjoy oral sex.

Charles: 17:40

So, first, he says oral sex is a must for pleasing and satisfying a woman, and I disagree because I've been with partners who weren't all that into it. And then, second, he says if you don't like it, get over it. And this is where you and I talked about this last week before we recorded our last podcast. If you don't like something, get over. It is not the advice we give to anybody who's looking to improve their life or get better at some skill that they find is important. If you don't like this thing, I don't see dr gottman or his wife julie giving that kind of advice to women when it comes to oral sex. If you don't like having a penis in your mouth, just get over it. If somebody said that to a woman, or if a partner of mine or a friend, a platonic girlfriend of mine, said hey, I'm reading this new book about sex and I'm not really into giving oral sex, but this doctor said if you don't like a penis in your mouth, just get over it.

Dan: 18:38

I would say it's time to put that book down and stop going to them for advice. Yeah, I'm really surprised, considering how thoughtful all the rest of this book is, for them to just take that shortcut and not offer. Okay, make the joke, but then I think the appropriate thing would be to talk somebody how they could ease into it, into feeling a little bit more comfortable doing those types of things.

Charles: 18:58

They did not do that no, they certainly did not do that. And furthermore, to make it even worse, in in the actual part of the I'm looking to get into the text of this chapter, they actually use the if for any reason, you do not like oral sex, we say get over it, man, up man. The idea that if someone has a sexual preference to not do a certain act, attacking their masculinity over it, saying you're not enough of a man because you don't like this, it's look, I, if I had a friend, if you came to me, or somebody came to me and said, hey, my girlfriend wants me to give her oral sex and I'm not into it, my approach would be like okay, why are you not into it? What are some things you might be willing to try that might lead you to getting into it? But the idea of then, sorry, dan, you're just no kind of real man If you don't like doing this, I would never try to encourage my friends or somebody I care about by attacking their masculinity.

Charles: 19:53

And okay, look, maybe I'm being a little prickly about this or a little sensitive, but look, I think in generally, in general, saying things like man up to somebody in the realm of self improvement does no good in almost all harm. Yeah, I'm disappointed that that John or Julie or one of their coauthors decided that would be four of them. That have somebody when they bragged about how many years of experience. Disappointed that that john or julie or one of their co-authors decided that would.

Dan: 20:15

There's four of them that have somebody. They bragged about how many years of experience they have between the four of them and it was like over a hundred or something in this area. Yeah, somebody should have thrown a judge. They should have thrown a flag like that yeah, a little sloppy, yeah, I agree.

Charles: 20:30

So, look, if that's something you're not into, I would encourage you to start thinking about why am I not into this? What could I do to be into it? What are the potential reasons that I don't find this appealing? And look, if it's because you've heard stories about that act not being manly or not being something, and I think maybe that's what they had in mind when they decided to voice it that way, I remember watching the Sopranos. Junior Soprano had a problem with performing oral sex on women and the idea that if it got out, that would lower his status as a mobster or Italian man or something.

Dan: 21:03

Wow, I didn't know that. That's interesting. Maybe that was something in the culture years ago. I wasn't aware of that. Maybe that's what that is.

Charles: 21:14

Yeah, he's an older guy, so maybe that's where it comes from and maybe he's trying to work against the you're not a real man if you do this. So no, that's what it sounds like to me. That's the direction say you're not a real man if you don't do this. It's like neither of those are effective ways to to teach people things or persuade them to try new things interesting.

Dan: 21:31

I didn't realize that was part of the culture back then. I saw the Sopranos with Spence a long ago. I basically forgot it all.

Charles: 21:36

I didn't realize. Again, maybe there's guys walking around with that mindset of oh, if you're a real man, you don't do this. And to that I say the argument of you're not a real man if you do this or you're not a real man if you don't do this are both stupid and wasted wasted your time and it's ridiculous. So yeah, that's where I've got an issue with what he said.

Charles: 21:54

Most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Get real good at finding it and touching it in a way that she finds to be pleasurable, and don't be afraid to ask for directions. And you can do that either in the moment or you can do that after in a non-sexual thing. It's, I think we said in the last chapter don't stop sex to interrogate your partner. It's, I think we said in the last chapter don't stop sex to interrogate your partner. You can certainly learn to see nonverbal communication when it comes to that, but you can also have some conversations about it too, to say, hey, did you like that? Did you not like that? Was I in the right place? Was I in the wrong place? There's no problem with having those conversations because ultimately it's going to make you better at what you're trying to be good at.

Dan: 22:33

Yeah, slow down, listen for cues right, pay attention, feel, listen to the noises that she's making, how her body's moving. But that will clue you in without having to ask those questions when you are in the moment. So really just try to heighten your senses, get those spidey senses going and figure out what's happening, how she's reacting to the different places that you're at. Take your time and just give it a little bit of time and she might actually start to move you in the right positions and things without even having the conversation. So I think, yeah, I think she's going to appreciate the effort that's being made and will help you do what you want to do. Yeah.

Charles: 23:11

Yeah, and another thing I'll offer is if you do have a partner who's willing to say in the moment, don't stop doing that or keep doing that, then follow her instructions because she, if possible until she tells you that, okay, you can do something else now.

Dan: 23:41

Don't attempt the Seinfeld swirl at that point.

Charles: 23:44

No, don't attempt anything at that point except to maintain the rhythm, the speed, the pressure. Whatever you're doing, don't change it until you see, either verbal or nonverbal cues, that okay, you got the job done. A hero. And again, at the end of these chapters, he's got this hero versus zero thing. The hero also makes love to a woman by holding her after the sex is over. This is a great source of pleasure for women.

Charles: 24:07

Yes, cuddling after sex I enjoy it too. I don't know who these guys are that, as soon as they're exhausted from the pleasure of their own orgasm and their partners, the first thing they want to do is throw some pants on and walk out the door. I've never really understood how that's a thing. It's no, I want to cuddle, then I want to go to sleep, in that order. So that's probably what she wants to do as well. Be prepared for that, understanding that, the cuddling, the conversation after sex is a big deal to women and with some training you can make it a big deal to you too, and you can get a lot out of it as well. All right, you ready for the list of stuff not to do? Dan, I am Don't believe that sex is all about getting up, getting in and getting off.

Charles: 24:48

Okay, what a clever little rhyme that is. So you might be a zero if you don't explore her body and read her signs and signals. Don't think sex should be like porn, or especially sex should be just like porn. Again, there are going to be similarities because putting hard things in tight places, just like the lady on TV or the guy on TV but there are going to be a lot of big differences as well, and you should read this chapter to get a better feel for all the different ways that pornography and sex are not the same. Don't ignore the clitoris. Don't fail to take time to make love to her body and help her get aroused. Oh, that's one thing.

Charles: 25:22

He talked about, this concept of discordance, which I learned a lot about from the book Come as you Are by Emily Nagowski, and some of these numbers were pretty surprising. Only about 10% of the time that a woman has a physiological response to sex is she actually going to desire having sex, and only about half the time that a man gets an erection is it actually about him wanting to have sex with someone. Okay, blood flows to private parts for lots of different reasons. Okay, blood flows to private parts for lots of different reasons. It just be so unsexual Correct. It's usually not sexual. It's a coin flip for men and it's a one out of ten for women. Just because that reaction is happening physiologically does not mean somebody wants to have sex or is ready to have sex.

Dan: 26:10

Okay.

Charles: 26:11

So don't think that every woman is the same and follow the same sexual routine with all women. Do show affection outside of the bedroom. Don't hold on to a belief that oral sex is not something that you could do or should do. Just be open to exploring that and, if it's not something that you're currently into, be willing to dig a little deeper to figure out why that is. If the reason you're not into oral sex is because you had one experience years and years ago where there was a smell or a taste you didn't like, that's not enough reason to write it off for the rest of your life.

Dan: 26:43

And things can be done, even if there's currently that issue. Correct Her partner.

Charles: 26:47

there are things that can be done for that, yes, conversations can be had and interventions can be done to make that not a problem. And again, you might be a zero if you try to run out the door after sex or certainly, if you try to kick her out the door after sex, assuming you don't live together. Sage advice if you do live together and you try to make her leave after sex, that's even worse. All right. Anything else from this chapter that we didn't cover that you think that needs to be? I, I get this is a long chapter.

Charles: 27:15

I I encourage you to buy the book, read the book, listen to the audio book and hear all the details that we're not getting into, because they are important. But it's also important for me to not have a podcast where I'm going through in super detailed fashion of all the things you should be doing to be better at sex. That's not what I'm looking to do. I'm looking to give you for that. Yes, I'm giving you the high points and I'm saying you should visit this book if you want to get better at sex.

Dan: 27:40

Yeah, it's a good recommendation.

Charles: 27:41

I think there's a lot of valid information in here, and the next part of this book that we're going to start is called Living With A Woman, and we're going to get into topics that make it easier to live with another person, especially a romantic partner who happens to be a woman. We're going to cover a chapter called learn to fight like a girl. Why does it take so long to buy a pair of shoes and best friends forever? So that'll get into some of the sources of both joy and conflict that come when you have a woman as a central part of your life.

Dan: 28:15

Yeah, I really learned a lot from the shopping information. That was always a source of frustration for me, but once I heard this and I read this in the chapter, I was like, okay, this is that's. It makes total sense after you hear the way they explain it, and it just ended a lot of frustration in my mind when it came to shopping with women.

Charles: 28:35

Yeah, I think I am better at shopping than a lot of guys, but it is still. It's still a mission oriented activity for me. Even I'm willing to take on the mission of let's buy you a fancy dress for an upcoming dinner that we're going to, but I still, in a lot of ways, look at it as the mission where a lot of guys, a lot of guys I know they wouldn't necessarily volunteer for that to be a mission. I enjoy that mission, but I still look at it as a mission and not I'm not really looking to appreciate the journey of going shopping in the way that women do.

Dan: 29:08

But just knowing what you're in for before you go on that shopping trip, whether it's going to be enjoying the journey or whether it's going to be mission focused just knowing that in my own mind sets my expectations properly and allows me to really enjoy it a lot more than I would have had.

Charles: 29:27

I not known that. Yeah, we'll talk. We'll go over that chapter in a couple of two episodes from now, and what I find is helpful when it comes to shopping with a woman is if you can break up the mission into a lot of little missions, it will be easier for you to look like you're enjoying the journey and to legitimately enjoy the journey. But you've got to break it up into lots of little missions instead of just the. I thought you said we just had to go buy one dress, because that's not something you want to say. Yeah, agreed. So yeah, we'll talk about that a little bit more. All right, thanks, dan. We will stop there for today and I will see you next time. All right, we'll talk soon.

Charles: 30:06

Okay, that's it for this episode of Mindfully Masculine. Thank you so much for sticking with us. We, us, we appreciate you taking the time to invest in yourself. If you found this episode valuable, be sure to check out more of our content over at mindfullymasculinecom. We post audio and video episodes there, along with anything else that we find worth sharing to help you keep growing, connecting and showing up as your best self. If something in today's conversation really resonated with you, share it with a friend, leave us a review or drop us a message. We'd love to hear from you. Until next time, stay mindful, stay curious.